I Dreamed

[billy]

it has continuous clichés that don't add anything in a new light.
i'd suggest you repost the poem in the novice section where the feedback wouldn't be too much to get your head round.
on that basis i'd suggest making it more original. and on making each verse about something different.

thanks for the read.

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Don't really have any exact points where i can give feedback, just the whole "every-line-has-to-rhyme" seems a bit, diluted?


I could relate to most of it, and i liked the last line especially much!

"I dreamed I stopped dreaming, I dreamed she was with me"

try and give feedback in the novice or mild critique forum till you get the hang of it. if you need help ask someone. it's all about sharing.