An Unannounced Inspection

[penguin]

and the royalty in for questions, prepared
for Special Measures. The Household Cavalry
shake and spray in all the well-known corners
while they watch the kettles boil until seconded
overseas to bugger those who wished a burkha
made Her Highness less familiar.

Miss Camilla has been cautioned for frightening
the corgis and the treasurer’s been caught
with his arms down foreign trousers.
Prince Phil must pull his finger out in Art
and Social Science or face endless
cocktail parties in the land of Bongo-Bongo.

There are murmurs of tomatoes selling memoirs
to the red tops and people in glass houses
throwing stones at modern buildings.
Her Majesty's not responding to the calls
for her retirement or the bevy
of bookmakers at the portcullis.

The lads are worried. The stag night capers
have been captured and the video’s gone viral,
starring Bosnians, Bulgarians, champers
and black stockings. The Civil List arouses
both nausea and nostalgia. But never
in equal measure: we are not in this together.

[rowens]

The computer's messed up, and I can't see this whole poem. I'm using somebody's phone. But I wonder why this has no critiques. It's in 'serious critique'.

---

Thread's not working?

[penguin]

I suspect the Royal Family have been leaning on Billy et al. It's happened before.

Mohammed Al-Fayed

[billy]

The computer's messed up, and I can't see this whole poem. I'm using somebody's phone. But I wonder why this has no critiques. It's in 'serious critique'.

---

Thread's not working?

i can only give the obvious answer; because no one has replied to it.
let's be fair, this isn't a job. things slip by. have you replied to every poem? i think i get 90% or more them. sometimes i miss a few. i suspect it's a common thing, People missing poems. people can always repost a poem after a few days or so if it gets no replies. back on topic; i'll leave a reply later.

[Todd]

How's this: I read it a number of times, nothing jumped out at me as a definite flaw, and nothing pulled me in. That happens with a lot of poems I suspect (I'm sure it does with mine as well). I don't comment when I have nothing to say. Which isn't a statement of the poem being bad or good, more that I just didn't connect with it.

Best,

Todd

[billy]

and the royalty in for questions, prepared the beginning doesn't feel easily understood.
for Special Measures. The Household Cavalry
shake and spray in all the well-known corners
while they watch the kettles boil until seconded
overseas to bugger those who wished a burkha
made Her Highness less familiar. i like some of the humour, it captures the royal and the horse guards.

Miss Camilla has been cautioned for frightening i can relate to this line, though it is cruel
the corgis and the treasurer’s been caught
with his arms down foreign trousers.
Prince Phil must pull his finger out in Art
and Social Science or face endless science,
cocktail parties in the land of Bongo-Bongo.

There are murmurs of tomatoes selling memoirs
to the red tops and people in glass houses
throwing stones at modern buildings.
Her Majesty's not responding to the calls
for her retirement or the bevy retirement,
of bookmakers at the portcullis. i like the play on odds being given on her retirement and the fact she loves the turf and all that goes with it

The lads are worried. The stag night capers
have been captured and the video’s gone viral,
starring Bosnians, Bulgarians, champers
and black stockings. The Civil List arouses
both nausea and nostalgia. But never
in equal measure: we are not in this together. princes will be princes

i light hearted dig of a poem at the royals. while this may pass above the heads of some, not of the uk, most brits will feel like they know what's happening to laugh with it. my only nit was the beginning of the very first line .

thanks for the read

[penguin]

Thanks, Billy, Todd. Sometimes I find myself writing music-hall poetry and that's what this is I guess, Two Ronnies kind of stuff. But I've lumbered myself with the wrong title and an inauspicious beginning. Nobody's ever been too impressed by this to be honest, but I quite like it.

[billy]

i actually enjoyed it sorry