Piñata [rev-5-18-13]

[Wildcard]

You sell yourself way too short sometimes, you dopey redneck bastard.

Also sometimes I just give myself away.

The one place it really doesn't work is the full stop after break -- that's not a sentence that makes sense on its own.

Oh yeah . . . .

I meant it like:

'It must be my convictions!'

I mustered all my might to make a break for it.
The mold that had grown
over my perception waned.

I thought that was clear so I will try to see it that way and figure something out.

Thanks for your rather back-handing yet kind words.

<3

Mark, this is original, and so passes my test. I normally like absolute clarity, but these tangential lines you have, produce a mood, which is unsayable. I am also attracted by fragments -of memory, of present perception, of a person breaking up, and there are fragments here, of the sort one has when recalling something, and other, unwanted stuff crowds in.

Sir, your rambling critique is poetry in itself. You kind words are much appreciated.

Hey Mark,

This is solid. I want to think about it some more before fully commenting. First impression I'd cut line two. It gives too much away and steals the tension when it should be building.

I rarely ever think of anything to say that is worth hearing so I certainly don't expect anyone to 'rush' to give me feedback. That you read it at all is flattering.

I want to echo Leanne. Don't sell yourself short.

I love you too.