11-06-2012, 10:30 AM
Billy,
Hypnotic was always the first word of the piece and I thought it made a fitting title, so I suppose the repetition was laziness. I made a third edit, to reflect your suggestions. I will ponder upon them all for a bit. Your impression of the final strophe made me laugh and blush. In all honesty I hadn't considered that possibility, but once pointed out it made perfect sense. Thanks for adding a layer to the metaphor.
Todd,
You're welcome
Hypnotic was always the first word of the piece and I thought it made a fitting title, so I suppose the repetition was laziness. I made a third edit, to reflect your suggestions. I will ponder upon them all for a bit. Your impression of the final strophe made me laugh and blush. In all honesty I hadn't considered that possibility, but once pointed out it made perfect sense. Thanks for adding a layer to the metaphor.
Todd,
You're welcome
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?