Existence

[addy]

Hey hulk . You're tackling some very interesting themes in this piece. Here are some of my thoughts on editing

Existence

Pure solace, To me this one line is a weak intro because its too abstract for your purposes. The opening line is the basis for the reader's first impression, and gives their first bit of context. A good way to do that is by presenting an image, establishing a scenario, or posing a thought...a hook the reader could cling to. 'Pure solace", because we don't know the context of the poem at this point, sounds abstract and meaningless.
I surrender and become He.

Outwards is inwards,
Both are neither.

I am the mirror to my reflections,
Only when to breathe is to die,
Will my eyes be should this be "become"? Not sure wide.

The source is alive within itself,
Not the contained,
Nor the container,
that which watches both.

Where fire and water find middle ground
Where to be full is to be empty,
Where the purest logic is nonsense, and
Where indifference pierces the heart of distinction. I really love the ideas here, but I believe the way they are presented could be improved. For example, "fire and water find middle ground." Surely there is a more dynamic way to describe it other than "finding middle ground". don't just explain the concept, weave a story.

The world so small,
It’s mountains, the toes,
The veil on the cage,
The mind sews. I enjoyed this stanza, particularly the first two lines. This poem shines when you ground the abstract concepts with solid imagery

Summers brightest lights,
Winters heaviest snows,
Still, black nights,
Nature;
the souls clothes i like this turn of phrase

Return,
Brother.
For ours,
Is a house of forgiveness.