The Last Muse

[billy]

Certainty waits in caves, lost and found, in modern sites,
Where chaos helms the deep layers of dimensional light;
Far, in May's cool autumnal nights, her footsteps trek
A prism of thought, constellations tracing her back.
I was studying the key that she left me in dreams.
Shape the stars, by her vague, distant words: all what it seems.

These visitations, we've shared, give of a bluish flame it does work with of but i keep seeing it as off
Burning now! Crude demons quake before an honest name!
No loss, in air or shallow waters, can try defer,
Or now declaim! of the hidden world we now prefer.
Written in a destiny I found searching her eyes'
Brown sand, the truth of a shared dream never fades or dies! it feels like the !'s were overdone or mainly necessary.

Last night! We saw the old stars die and fade to nothing.
Only tarnished nickel and broken gold were touching
The throne of my beauty's soul, from the base of her neck
To the white, heated slope of her breast, till my lips met,
With my warm silver water of stars at last reborn,
This Muse's softly beating heart, —and new life was formed.

So come again! and never leave now, my bed of yours.
Smooth as this world we'd always been destined to create,
In you, —I have seen the eyes of this new child of ours.

........................


This poem is forcing its form. It doesn't have a meter, but something that gives it an uneven flow. There's a fight going on, a thorny, solitary battle and a quest. It's trying to hold on to something, and reviving its partner in the wider quest. And it's some kind of acrostic.

i couldn't unravel the acrostic in it. as for feeling forced, i thought the last 4 lines felt that way. but the rest of the poem flowed well. i never bothered with the meter, and never took it as it felt meter should be a main part of it. but it flowed well with a good internal rhythm nonetheless. the sestets had good enough rhymes that i didn't notice them in the read. the first verse was the best with some good narrative.

i did have a feel of lord of the rings with it because of helm's deep but that's a good thing, it gave me a memory.

thanks for the read.