On The Tree That Was Cut Down; and, Guest Room At The Old Persons' House

[billy]

it can work well in the real world. a raised eyebrow or curled lip can give what we say, the emphasis for better understanding. often all it takes is a glance for stuff to flow. here it's doubly hard cos we don't have eyebrows to raise
that said, and i say this a lot; others may not have the same trouble as i do with something in a poem. i think a consensus is always a good indicator as to if you succeed or not. sometimes that can be hard to come by on a poetry poetry site so we tend to use the odd piece of feedback the best we can.