The Stairs Of Caprice

[Word Weaver]

Hi Wordweaver... jumping right into the thick of it, I see . Welcome to the forums! -Thank you, Addy!

I really like the whimsy that threads through the piece, and the eclectic use of concepts and imagery. More than just childhood, it gave the impression of rifling through the human subconscious. What I think this could benefit from is just a tad more focus. As I said, I enjoyed how you threw in eclectic images, archetypes, and pantheons; but at some points there is an overload, where I failed grasp the significance of a certain concept's inclusion and it struck me as just a placeholder or even padding. It makes the reader's head spin, and is an interesting bauble in and of itself, but doesn't really build up or contribute to the narrative. It's good to make the reader immersed and distracted, but as the writer you can't be as clouded as us. You must be our guide.

Another thing you could improve on is the meter... the rhyming and meter seem to be inconsistent throughout, but there's just enough proper structure here that a good edit can fix that up. Otherwise, just make it a freeverse and don't bother forcing the rhymes (i really think this looks better with structure though)

That said, I enjoyed the overall reading of the piece, and the inclusion of Jareth tickled me to no end

Away in the woods, a winding path stood.
A staircase, ascending to somewhere.
These flights of steps, these flighty stairs,
I wandered, leads me where? For me the rhyme of "somewhere" and "where" is quite forced, and by extension the stanza reads as unnecessarily coy - The inspiration came from a photo of a high winding staircase in the middle woods. Seeming endless, I felt one starts to speculate that it must lead us somewhere but where? I felt it necessary, no?

Cross the Threshold of Yesteryears,
to the Grand Porticoes of Tomorrow.
Braced by Pillars of Virtue’s Tears,
and the heartstrings of sorrow. "Sorrow' is the only one that isn't architectural... significance?- I felt one usually looks on to the future as grand and to the past and its sad memories and sorrows as glimpses,- heartstrings, connecting the afterthoughts of the present.

Behold!
Its golden welcome stands sublime,
The Temple of Anamnesis.
Afterthoughts, suspended in time.

Neath its cornice Cove of Wonder,
bares the winged Sphere of Athor.
The crest of the primordial mother,
whose legends, myths and lore,
suckled upon her shore. I like the buildup, and I like this line

Cloaked in the shadows of lost and found,
Lures the Labyrinth of Jareth.
Where endless tunnels of roundabouts,
and pitfall drops, abound.

Lose yourself in the Chamber of Hushed,
the Archives of Anonymity.
Here ancient stories are whispered,
in unspoken secrecy. they are whispered, not unspoken
- I meant it as the irony of truth- that no secret ever remains a secret, even if its a whispered rumor

Roam the Rooms of Riddles, with bolted doors, unsolved.
Pirouette down the Spinning Ballrooms,
and dance, dance, dance, on the polka-dotted floors. Not sure why you chose the polkadots as an image here... does it denote confusion? Or is it meant to look like an optical illusion. my first choice was checkered board floors, too cliche, the pitfalls of teenage years- begins the journey of query , thus riddles, not old enough or have the wisdom to solve them, the disco days and the polkadots is very 60's!

Wait up by the Room of Impatience,
or behind the “rooms to grow”.
Listen in the Room of Silence,
that echoes “I don’t know..” Again, this part seems so different. The vibe now reminds me of a claustrophobic school (the type where students are seen and not heard) - the learning process and insecurities we encounter as we growup, experiences we look back on and learning from our mistakes..

Stray up, along the Corridor of Sacred Passage,
Pass the roaring Halls of Fame.
Or Down the Avenue of Bane Knowledge,
Walled, in whimpering shame.

Ingress pride and honor, climbs up the Turrets of Conceit.
Spiraling down vainglorious, stumbled potholes of deceit.

Out onto the garden, strewn wild, with reckless dreams,
Misled tall and overgrow, are the weeds of illusive schemes.

Beware! Beware! Up and down the stairs!

Enter the Galleries of Phantom Faces,
meet faes in petticoat silks and laces.
Statuette Busts of Prophetic Sages,
of heroes and villains, down the ages.
Caricatures of man, creatures from Pan. Quite like this stanza

Homes of strangers feigned familiar, mystic dens quite peculiar!
Covens of Aragon, Crystal Realms of Paragon,
Phoenix nests and dragon lairs, even sanctuaries,
to abandoned teddy bears. Teddy bears seems out of place? But perhaps that's just me the magic of life, the enchantment, mysteries, travels and even about mundane stuffs like teddy bears in the attic!

Away in the woods, a winding path stood.
A staircase, ascending to nowhere.
These flights of steps, these flighty stairs of promise-
I now know, leads somewhere.

It beckons a choice -
Crossroads of childhood or a jaded voice.

I know who I am and I know my heart,
As sure as Pied Piper, piped the portals apart.

I’m holding the key,
Unbarring the gate,
Up the flighty steps of fancy. This is a small nit, but you already entered the sanctuary (as you established in the beginning of the poem) and there wasn't a locked gate before? Granted this is all metaphorical, so it's just a minor distraction The sanctuary is the up and down stairs of going through life, the key to imagination and the choices and the decisions we make or made. Mine, I've decided to take on the option to delve up the stairs of caprice...

I’m late! I’m late! Not a moment’s tarry,
to my rendezvous with fate.
Up the steps, I shall venture with ease, The first three lines of these stanza aren't strictly necessary... the end of the previous stanza flows well to the next line
with a hop skip and jump,
up the stairs of caprice.

I treasure you critique and truly find it most insightful to better my writing/ up the capricious flights of poetry! Best regeards, Kate

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I think the poem is an introduction, a capricious one as it says. Where one hops skips and jumps through other people's stuff on the way to her own.The first two stanzas are leading us somewhere, and building from those intangibles and those flighty flights and words that rhyme on themselves.
At "behold!", there is a living, concrete symbol. And the characters, places and things continue merging, as they certainly do when this realm is experienced from increasing dimensions. They all exist on the plane of shared experience, anyway. The entire journey takes place on the stairs, after all, "the Chamber of Hushed" and "the garden, strewn wild" are "flights of steps" that are "flighty stairs".
She's making her personal journey, through these more impersonal, or rather collective sights and experiences, with her own key, to unlock her own poetic workshop where she weaves new fabrics of reality on a new higher level.
This is a challenge to herself, a changing of the guards---so I don't see the meter and so on to be of high priority. This is a promise of hopeful things to come, with a polite nod to her stepping stones.

Hi Rowens,
A young girl who read it told me that its about a person who finds himself, after a journey through a tupsy turvy world. ahh, The comfort of being understood. You saw through my mirror and I feel gratified. Much obliged. Kate

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Hi Billy,
Admittedly I am very much influenced by Lewis Carrolls and the
edward lears..the nonsical and the silly, the make-believe and childishness of it all but with a grown-up perspective behind it... and yes, i have much to learn about meter and rhythm and the flow of the poem...I am confused, the heart of the poem I thought was me! lol "If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there." -Lewis Caroll
I knew it ! I shouldn't have added Jareth , I was hesitant, fearing it would give the reader the mind set of goblins and wonderland however it was inevitably an honest expression of my influences.
Thank you for the insight. Sincerely appreciated. kate