This.

[parakleseos]

Thanks for the feedback. I think I'll stick with the ending, as given the flippant tone of the rest of the poem, ending it so heavily would seem a bit odd to me. I was going more for an effect like http://xkcd.com/75/

I've changed the poem a fair bit since posting it here. I do like your suggestion about breaking up the lines in the first stanza, and might run with it. I think your version of the stanza reads better, though I'll keep my phrasing (your very reasonable objection notwithstanding).

Cheers,


-pk

Sure, it's funny and flippant (those are often signs of intelligence in my book) but it doesn't mean that it can't be tightened a bit to make some concessions to logic and language. I do like it much. The title is appropriate. I was about to leave the page when I saw the second line begin with your soul. Thankfully it didn't go that way. As long as it shows thoughtfulness, I prefer a witty poem to a dry any day. That said, just a couple of edits. Moving a line to place the modified more directly in the path of the modifier. Also the ending I strongly suggest to change "your face" to "you." "Your face" is more a playground insult, whereas to call someone a "cunt" is to literally objectify them... to make them a noun. It puts some teeth into the ending rather than deflecting the blow.