narcissus

[billy]

have i already commented on this one somewhere else?

it's 3am, and I need to hear sunlight this is the 2nd time in a couple of days i've written the word "synaesthesia" it works here well.
hours wealthier, you
step out into life.
something in here is dying;
curled, I listen for its breathing.

time drips somewhere in a cave.
love? you were in love with the idea
it tastes of quinine, dipped in too much sugar. Now i want to know what quinine tastes like i like the line.

I learned to embrace bleeding,
to love the sticky sweetness. it works but i think the third love is teetering on wall of too many love's

an emptying heart has enough blood
to flow across a kitchen table
before turning black i love this image
(you would never write this down).

sitting between our worlds are the
cold, smooth stones I collected.

in spring snow covered the daffodils. excellent image and metaphor

metaphorically speaking
this murder will be misunderstood.

anything of a critique on the neg side are really nit picky. it read really well. i had a problem with the 2nd line but that was my fault after a few reads it became obvious that it worked well. and was great at emphasising the stepping out.

i enjoyed the read and the sadness. felt the heart and blood across the table stanza was almost awesome.

thanks for the read.