Touch Me

[billy]

V:2
Touch me or I’ll scream should a comma go at the end of the line.
and imbed your skull in the headboard embed?
because I am aching just to feel
your violence upon my skin
when your indifference
leaves me cold and sore and wanting.
Can’t you feel the heat of my desire?
Look me in the goddamn face
and tell me you don’t want me!
I still have the scars
from the last time we fucked so it's more than once a week then from does work better
the way your nails felt
as you raked them down my back
leaving bloody trails
that heightened my pleasure
and I breathed your name
in need for more.

While it’s been months is while needed?
since you told me you loved me
your eyes wandering over
other girls when we go out
and I’m sorry I’m not tall
and blonde and supermodel hot.
Though you used to make me feel
beautiful and wanted, like I was special
unable to resist touching me
a finger curled around mine, a kiss
on the back of my neck
hand sliding cheekily up my thigh
while we rode the bus
just to tease me
while we sat, unseen by those
that would highly disapprove
as I pulled my hat down over my face
to hide the flush that crept there
and melded myself to your fingertips. it works well

Now, I want you to fuck me can i finish the feedback first please i say that because it's directed at me, it's a strong statement that works.
like you hate me, with all
the pretense of love you can muster
just one last time
before I light your clothes on fire
along with g-string I found the or a g string
in your jacket pocket
That I know isn't mine. better now
And I’m staring at your indifference
longing just to reach out and kiss you
hard and deep and painful
your hands tangling in my hair
as you pull my head back
to kiss down my neck as you push
me back down on the bed
to explore me with your lips
tongue and gentle fingertips
sharp nails, taking control
owning my body and claiming it as yours
just like the first time we made love
in your mother’s bed while she was out on a date
and I came so hard, I almost passed out. i'm humbled

Instead I watch you watching the TV
greasy fingers in a packet of Doritos.
Oh, for fucks sake... just touch me!
I’m begging you telepathically
to just fucking touch me
because I am going to scream
and imbed your skull in the headboard.
Instead, I throw the lamp at the wall
and you call me a crazy bitch as you get up
to turn out the light, and switch off the TV
snoring beside me within minutes.
I breathe a sigh of sick relief
while I remove my panties
and get myself off to the thought
of strangling you in your sleep
with your mistress’s underwear
when all I really wanted
was for you to touch me one last time
and make me scream in all the right ways
...for you, just like you used to do.

what i like best is the way there's not an army of caps screaming out at me down the left hand side of the page for some reason it gives me better access to the thoughts and feelings in the poem. (i'm not responsible for any funny comments in the feedback, i were possessed ). the changes you made do work but i still think you could do more...see my original feedback. but of course the laurels rest on the writers head
it's an enjoyable piece

thanks for the edit.