Hate

[heslopian]

I don't recall the context of the conversation.
Just that remark my brother made,
when I asked him if he hated blacks:
'I don't like it when they fill the beaches'.

"They" as the umbrella term
one would use for mice, or gnats,
scurrying legions of lice everywhere,
which is perhaps how he regarded them.

We've both matured since then, of course.
I was always self-righteous in my liberality,
my meek rebellion against our father,
who couldn't have cared either way,

while my brother continued his hate for a time,
wore it like a hand-me-down shirt
which never quite fit, tailored as it was
for a much different man.

[billy]

personally in the 1st verse i think L4 should be L3.
the rest of the poem is excellent for me.
i like the observations made about the brother.
i love the last verse though think the 2nd a little cliche.

while being really telly it also shows. it gives insights as to how we view others,
how others view others and it#s feels pretty spot on. nicely done.
thanks for the read.

[heslopian]

I'll swap round those lines in a mo. What do you mean by "really telly"? Thanks for the kind words and feedback Billy.

[billy]

its narrative/observational. a stroy in poetical form.

there show which = imagery/shown with an image.
and tell/telly which = being told something
nothing wrong with either as long as it's a good tell which includes some images, this does.

a bad tell would be along the lines of;

i cut the vein and saw the blood exit my veins.
i couldn't take it any moe
i'm really depressed because my boyfriend left me
and my cat died
i have to end it all and no i have


though i still managed to write the above poem because this really isn't a dead person typing.
and i've found a new boyfriend who likes twosomes.

[heslopian]

Ah I see, thanks for explaining.

[Ris Yerg]

Great work!
R.Y.

[heslopian]

Please stop commenting on other people's views, Ris. Thanks for the compliment though.