Haiku

[heslopian]

dark winter sky
above college square.
I write this haiku.

[billy]

dark winter sky
above college square.
I see it then write this haiku.

the last line feels too much.

i'm going to make a suggestion and there's no need to make a reply unless you really feel the deed to

would the last line work as;
I write a haiku

i like the conceptuality of it.

[heslopian]

would the last line work as;
I write a haiku

That is a MUCH better line. I don't know why I didn't think of it myself. Thanks Billy, I'll do an edit now.

[billy]

for me it the thing works really well.

i'm always amazed at how much a haiku can say.