Poetry Forum › Poetry Forum › Haiku, Senryu, Short Form Poetry.
Reflection

Reflection
sun_sparks Offline
Junior Member
**
Posts: 22
Threads: 5
Joined: Nov 2025
#1
11-17-2025, 05:31 PM
a heron frozen
fish soaring close to their end
nourishing my soul
Reply
dukealien Offline
Psychopomp and Circumstance
**********
Posts: 1,232
Threads: 250
Joined: Nov 2015
#2
11-18-2025, 05:15 AM
(11-17-2025, 05:31 PM)sun_sparks Wrote:  a heron frozen
fish soaring close to their end
nourishing my soul

Pushing nicely at the haiku envelope.  "Frozen/fish" seems discordant until it comes to nourishing the writer.
feedback award Non-practicing atheist
Reply
sun_sparks Offline
Junior Member
**
Posts: 22
Threads: 5
Joined: Nov 2025
#3
11-18-2025, 01:54 PM
(11-18-2025, 05:15 AM)dukealien Wrote:  
(11-17-2025, 05:31 PM)sun_sparks Wrote:  a heron frozen
fish soaring close to their end
nourishing my soul

Pushing nicely at the haiku envelope.  "Frozen/fish" seems discordant until it comes to nourishing the writer.

Thank you dukealien. I wasn't sure if it was a push too far tbh...
Reply




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!