Christmas Crown

[CRNDLSM]

This was a crown of limerick sonnets inspired by daily prompts from rivernotches pigmas.  I haven't edited it cause crowns are massive, but I'm open to critique 

How do I feel about Christmas this year?
Sipping cold coffee as dawn's drawing near
The weather is warm, a new winter norm,
At least I can say it's cozy in here.
Listening to the arhythmic snoring
Some of the voices already warring
I must relax, anxiety attacks
Thunder outside, now the rain is pouring.
Later when we go visit her parents
Imagining all the car accidents
Clogging the freeways, ruined holidays
People desperate to maintain traditions.
How do I feel about Christmas this year?
I desperately want my spirit to cheer.

I desperately want my spirit to cheer
Reliving anything that i most fear
As I sip my drink, it's too weak I think
But is it too early to switch to beer?
Happy, sad, angry, emotions are packed
Decorated tree, presents are stacked
My daughter believes that on Christmas eve
Late night radio has Santa's sleigh tracked
Am I really celebrating the birth
Of the savior of all people on earth?
Rather scary imagining Mary
Not screaming in pain, but jolly with mirth
Happy, sad, angry, emotions are packed
As a matter of fact it's all an act

As a matter of fact, its all an act
All the substances I consume, I'm jacked
Twenty four seven, looking for heaven 
A spark from the Holy ghost that I've lacked.
Life is a bike ride always shifting gear
Pray the pater noster hoping to steer
My chaotic day to a righteous way
Without being the one to interfere 
In my Own kids journey to adulthood
discernment between what's evil and good
Learning to be free, bound to scrape her knee
She'll look back and see I did what I could
Life is a bike ride always shifting gear
I don't know The last time I shed a tear

I don't know The last time I shed a tear
Wrapped up day and night building a career
Feeling like peasants scrounging for presents
Clinging to the illusions we hold dear.
When she asked me what I believe, I lied
Yet before they wake up I try to hide
The mischievous elf on a new shelf
Whose existence proves the magics inside.
When kids don't know how it feels to be poor
And adults dont even feel anymore
I'll take my last breath getting stoned to death
Cause now even having fun is a chore
When she asked me what I believe, I lied
The lump in my throat is swallowing pride

The lump in my throat is swallowing pride
Day after day all my prayers are denied
I'm clenching my beads and hoping good deeds
Have been the only things santa God spied
I can hear the other people stirring
The cat in my lap also stopped purring
I twiddle my fingers, time just lingers
Vents down the hall in the bathroom whirring
All this waiting has my mind about broke
I wonder if I have enough time for a smoke
Minutes off my life, I'll go ask my wife
But as I pass my daughters room, she spoke.
The lump in my throat is swallowing pride
Listening in, I may need a new guide

Listening in, I may need a new guide
Disassociate, along for the ride
"Hey don't wake her up, go pour me a cup"
In a voice so sweet I have to abide.
I'm pacing around the house like a creep
How late was she up to still be asleep?
When she was a baby she would maybe
Sleep 4 hours at a time, not a peep
I'm not exactly being quiet
The dogs running around are a riot
Being a dad really isn't so bad
Forgive me if I seemed to imply it
I'm pacing around the house like a creep
Faith is a blind leap where the dark is deep.

Faith is a blind leap where the dark is deep
Ignore all the dead bodies in a heap
It's all in your mind, you'll get there and find
They're pillows for the fall, the cliffs not steep
I like to think of it more as a slide 
 the sun makes it burn cause the waters dried
So you scrape and bleed while picking up speed
All but the law of gravitys defied
It's just the cynical cards I was dealt
Normal loss of innocence we've all felt 
My main objective to be protective
And take the hit when the world swings its belt
I like to think of it more as a slide
Face first of course, hands and feet both hog tied

Face first of course, hands and feet both hog tied
Getting out of school, getting a job, I'd
Get arrested, and pregnancy tested
Then ask my girlfriend if shell be my bride
Perhaps I've carried too much on my plate
Unable to finish for a clean slate
While leaving a trail of crumbs to go stale
The defeatist in me agrees that's fate
No one knows how any of this will end 
How much time here any of us will spend
Learn to behave. Avoid an early grave
I don't have to be everyone's best friend
Perhaps I've carried too much on my plate
The greatest lesson to learn is to wait

The greatest lesson to learn is to wait
Marking an x on each calendar date
Each day waits for night, then dark waits for light
We wait and wait and slowly start to hate
Each slight inconvenience to do us wrong
A handful of people seem like a throng
We wait for each meal, for our scars to heal
For the comfort of somewhere we belong
Waiting for a burst of inspiration 
Being controlled by procrastination 
Agreements we make promises we break
For seeking instant gratification
The greatest lesson to learn is to wait
There's no way to know when now is too late

There's no way to know when now is too late
Like when my parents moved to a new state
How long had they planned to travel the land
And not meet their grandkid who just turned eight
Memories growing up are not the best
I couldnt pay rent so lived like a guest
Who had to do chores restricted outdoors
Regularly being told they're a pest
I've worked my butt off since I was able
To make sure my daughters life was stable
Everything's fine if it's nothing like mine 
She'll always have a seat at my table
Memories growing up are not the best
I guess if I'm pressed I just want to rest

I guess if I'm pressed, I just want to rest
Exhausted from thinking it's all a test
The prophecy deems to fulfill my dreams
Live each day unnecessarily stressed
Getting old at a remarkable rate
I struggle for my ego to deflate
I can't accept if angels intercept
My invitation to the pearly gate
my granddad died before he was 50
heart attack double bypass surgery
And his before him, will I be like them?
Is that why my dad left in a hurry?
Getting old at a remarkable rate
To make it another year would be great

To make it another year would be great
Focus more energy watching my weight
Lots more exercise, give up curly fries
Instead of drinking learn to meditate
They would be devastated if I died
Keeps my thoughts and behavior justified
Ignore what neighbors think of my labors
And pray for those dealing with suicide
Not really something I think of at all
More worried of taking a nasty fall
My minds been racing, time to stop pacing
Pause at all the photos lining the wall
They would be devastated if I died
The lump in my throat is swallowing pride

The lump in my throat is swallowing pride
Suddenly the house is electrified
Down the hall she'll zoom to the living room 
Squeals of delight, her mom behind in stride 
"Momma look! Santa wrote me a letter!
'My elf helper said no one was better
So here's your reward for when you get bored
PS thanks for the cookies, go-getter!"'
Then to my surprise she hands me a box
'Just in case santa filled your sock with rocks'
Lifting up the flap carefully unwrap
An ornament of a hand painted fox
The lump in my throat is swallowing pride
Today is the day I finally cried

Today is the day I finally cried
The doorbell rings I swing it open wide
'What the heck is this?! Hi! Merry christmas!'
Was I mad or glad? I couldn't decide
Introspections gotten pretty severe
Of all the people in this hemisphere 
I guess I don't mind, put it all behind
They made the effort, they're here, that is clear.
The rest of the day went by us so fast
A reunion of the ghosts of my past
What is this grin,  like being born again?
I can't believe it, these feelings won't last
Introspections gotten pretty severe
How do I feel about Christmas this year?

How do I feel about Christmas this year?
I desperately want my spirit to cheer
As a matter of fact, its all an act
I don't know The last time I shed a tear 
The lump in my throat is swallowing pride
Listening in, I may need a new guide
Faith is a blind leap where the dark runs deep
Face first of course, hands and feet both hog tied
The greatest lesson to learn is to wait
There's no way to know when now is too late
I guess if I'm pressed I just want to rest
To make it another year would be great
The lump in my throat is swallowing pride 
Today was the day I finally cried

[Knot]

Hi CRNDLSM.


Firstly, congratulations, quite the achievement.
I did wonder if the form (the Limerick, not the sonnet) made things unnecessarily difficult?


I'll just take on the first two sonnets (for now.)

How do I feel about Christmas this year?

Sipping cold coffee as dawn's drawing near

The weather is warm, a new winter norm,

At least I can say it's cozy in here.

.......... it feels like the conclusion 'cozy' is a little hurried. Might not a bit more time be taken to set the scene? Besides if it's warm outside what does it matter that it's cozy inside?

Also, shouldn't L4 start with a stressed syllable? (Maybe 'with' for 'as' L2?)

Listening to the arhythmic snoring

Some of the voices already warring

I must relax, anxiety attacks

Thunder outside, now the rain is pouring.

.......... who's snoring? Who's awake? and why has the weather changed? (Also arrhythmic)

The stresses are a bit jumbled here (L7 in particular. For me the stress is on I, whereas in L3 is was on WEAther) and that line is also missing a beat.

? I gotta relax, anxiety attacks ?

(but the second part of the line doesn't really follow from the first.)

Later when I go visit my parents

Imagining all the car accidents

Clogging the freeways, ruined holidays

People desperate to maintain traditions.

How do I feel about Christmas this year?

I desperately want my spirit to cheer.

........... you're missing a beat on L10

Visions of multiple pile ups and accidents (?)

and what is 'traditions' supposed to rhyme with?

If you're repeating the 'how to I feel' question, I think you need to address it more directly than you do.

And, perhaps more importantly, that's two desparates in three lines, one's gotta go.

I desperately want my spirit to cheer

Reliving anything that i most fear

As I sip my drink, it's too weak I think

But is it too early to switch to beer?

............. Like L3-4, but I can't follow L1-2. What is being relived and why?

Also, the rhythm is off, again.

I desperately hope that my spirit will cheer

and not be as doleful as it was last year

Happy, sad, angry, emotions are packed

Decorated tree, presents are stacked

My daughter believes that on Christmas eve

Late night radio has Santa's sleigh tracked

......... we know what emotions are, no need to list them. I liked the notion that they (the emotions) might be lurking under the tree like presents, but then you switch focus to the daughter (surely that should be the start of an entirely separate sonnet?)

Am I really celebrating the birth

Of the savior of all people on earth?

Rather scary imagining Mary

Not screaming in pain, but jolly with mirth

Happy, sad, angry, emotions are packed

As a matter of fact it's all an act

........ can't really follow this, feels cluttered.

Best, Knot.

[CRNDLSM]

Thank you so much knot!  I've been under a dry spell.  I am going to rework this one because I actually am proud of it for itself outside of any of my musical acts.  When you say 'unnecessarily difficult' I was afraid of that, but that also gave me the enthusiasm to keep going, and the fact that it seemed to be working made it easier, I cheated by repeating an extra line within each sonnet for the couplet at the end, afraid I'd repeat some lines too much by the final sonnet, but then again they wouldn't be limericks anyway because of the number of lines.  
so there's a million ways this probably could have been done, but I was making it up as I went, and the limericky feel has a chistmasy tone to it,

I tried to work each prompt into each sonnet and on reworking I can edit that stuff out as unrelated to the overall crown attempt.  Hopefully the sonnets got better as they went. 

Thanks for reading!

[Knot]

Hi CRNDLSM

Thank you so much knot!  I've been under a dry spell.
You and me both.
I am going to rework this one because I actually am proud of it for itself
Pleased to hear that. It's certainly deserving of attention.

I cheated by repeating an extra line within each sonnet for the couplet at the end,
Well, you know what they say about cheats?
(I think it's a negative, given all the sonnets are perspectives on the same subject you already run the risk of sounding repetitious, the last thing you need is such explicit repeats.)
and the limericky feel has a chistmasy tone to it,
Agreed (and who doesn't like a limerick?) it just seemed like a hurdle on top of a whole heap (or should that be crown?) of other hurdles.
I tried to work each prompt into each sonnet and on reworking I can edit that stuff out as unrelated to the overall crown attempt.  Hopefully the sonnets got better as they went.
To be honest I found the latter ones a bit confusing (and they felt rushed), but then I didn't know about the original prompts so probably missed quite a bit because of that. I could see patterns and themes throughout though and wondered if, in the edit, they might be re-arranged for greater clarity? For instance I thought the line But is it too early to switch to beer? from sonnet 2 would have made for a much stronger ending to sonnet 1. (Similarly gathering all the 'daughter' sections together.)

Stick with it.

Best, Knot

PS I'd give serious thought to losing the opening question (I was never sure who you were addressing.)
.

[TranquillityBase]

This was a crown of limerick sonnets inspired by daily prompts from rivernotches pigmas.  I haven't edited it cause crowns are massive, but I'm open to critique 

How do I feel about Christmas this year?
Sipping cold coffee as dawn's drawing near
The weather is warm, a new winter norm,
At least I can say it's cozy in here.
Listening to the arhythmic snoring
Some of the voices already warring
I must relax, anxiety attacks
Thunder outside, now the rain is pouring.
Later when I go visit my parents
Imagining all the car accidents
Clogging the freeways, ruined holidays
People desperate to maintain traditions.
How do I feel about Christmas this year?
I desperately want my spirit to cheer.

I desperately want my spirit to cheer
Reliving anything that i most fear
As I sip my drink, it's too weak I think
But is it too early to switch to beer?
Happy, sad, angry, emotions are packed
Decorated tree, presents are stacked
My daughter believes that on Christmas eve
Late night radio has Santa's sleigh tracked
Am I really celebrating the birth
Of the savior of all people on earth?
Rather scary imagining Mary
Not screaming in pain, but jolly with mirth
Happy, sad, angry, emotions are packed
As a matter of fact it's all an act

As a matter of fact, its all an act
All the substances I consume, I'm jacked
Twenty four seven, looking for heaven 
A spark from the Holy ghost that I've lacked.
Life is a bike ride always shifting gear
Pray the pater noster hoping to steer
My chaotic day to a righteous way
Without being the one to interfere 
In my Own kids journey to adulthood
discernment between what's evil and good
Learning to be free, bound to scrape her knee
She'll look back and see I did what I could
Life is a bike ride always shifting gear
I don't know The last time I shed a tear

I don't know The last time I shed a tear
Wrapped up day and night building a career
Feeling like peasants scrounging for presents
Clinging to the illusions we hold dear.
When she asked me what I believe, I lied
Yet before they wake up I try to hide
The mischievous elf on a new shelf
Whose existence proves the magics inside.
When kids don't know how it feels to be poor
And adults dont even feel anymore
I'll take my last breath getting stoned to death
Cause now even having fun is a chore
When she asked me what I believe, I lied
The lump in my throat is swallowing pride

The lump in my throat is swallowing pride
Day after day all my prayers are denied
I'm clenching my beads and hoping good deeds
Have been the only things santa God spied
I can hear the other people stirring
The cat in my lap also stopped purring
I twiddle my fingers, time just lingers
Vents down the hall in the bathroom whirring
All this waiting has my mind about broke
I wonder if I have enough time for a smoke
Minutes off my life, I'll go ask my wife
But as I pass my daughters room, she spoke.
The lump in my throat is swallowing pride
Listening in, I may need a new guide

Listening in, I may need a new guide
Disassociate, along for the ride
"Hey don't wake her up, go pour me a cup"
In a voice so sweet I have to abide.
I'm pacing around the house like a creep
How late was she up to still be asleep?
When she was a baby she would maybe
Sleep 4 hours at a time, not a peep
I'm not exactly being quiet
The dogs running around are a riot
Being a dad really isn't so bad
Forgive me if I seemed to imply it
I'm pacing around the house like a creep
Faith is a blind leap where the dark is deep.

Faith is a blind leap where the dark is deep
Ignore all the dead bodies in a heap
It's all in your mind, you'll get there and find
They're pillows for the fall, the cliffs not steep
I like to think of it more as a slide 
 the sun makes it burn cause the waters dried
So you scrape and bleed while picking up speed
All but the law of gravitys defied
It's just the cynical cards I was dealt
Normal loss of innocence we've all felt 
My main objective to be protective
And take the hit when the world swings its belt
I like to think of it more as a slide
Face first of course, hands and feet both hog tied

Face first of course, hands and feet both hog tied
Getting out of school, getting a job, I'd
Get arrested, and pregnancy tested
Then ask my girlfriend if shell be my bride
Perhaps I've carried too much on my plate
Unable to finish for a clean slate
While leaving a trail of crumbs to go stale
The defeatist in me agrees that's fate
No one knows how any of this will end 
How much time here any of us will spend
Learn to behave. Avoid an early grave
I don't have to be everyone's best friend
Perhaps I've carried too much on my plate
The greatest lesson to learn is to wait

The greatest lesson to learn is to wait
Marking an x on each calendar date
Each day waits for night, then dark waits for light
We wait and wait and slowly start to hate
Each slight inconvenience to do us wrong
A handful of people seem like a throng
We wait for each meal, for our scars to heal
For the comfort of somewhere we belong
Waiting for a burst of inspiration 
Being controlled by procrastination 
Agreements we make promises we break
For seeking instant gratification
The greatest lesson to learn is to wait
There's no way to know when now is too late

There's no way to know when now is too late
Like when my parents moved to a new state
How long had they planned to travel the land
And not meet their grandkid who just turned eight
Memories growing up are not the best
I couldnt pay rent so lived like a guest
Who had to do chores restricted outdoors
Regularly being told they're a pest
I've worked my butt off since I was able
To make sure my daughters life was stable
Everything's fine if it's nothing like mine 
She'll always have a seat at my table
Memories growing up are not the best
I guess if I'm pressed I just want to rest

I guess if I'm pressed, I just want to rest
Exhausted from thinking it's all a test
The prophecy deems to fulfill my dreams
Live each day unnecessarily stressed
Getting old at a remarkable rate
I struggle for my ego to deflate
I can't accept if angels intercept
My invitation to the pearly gate
my granddad died before he was 50
heart attack double bypass surgery
And his before him, will I be like them?
Is that why my dad left in a hurry?
Getting old at a remarkable rate
To make it another year would be great

To make it another year would be great
Focus more energy watching my weight
Lots more exercise, give up curly fries
Instead of drinking learn to meditate
They would be devastated if I died
Keeps my thoughts and behavior justified
Ignore what neighbors think of my labors
And pray for those dealing with suicide
Not really something I think of at all
More worried of taking a nasty fall
My minds been racing, time to stop pacing
Pause at all the photos lining the wall
They would be devastated if I died
The lump in my throat is swallowing pride

The lump in my throat is swallowing pride
Suddenly the house is electrified
Down the hall she'll zoom to the living room 
Squeals of delight, her mom behind in stride 
"Momma look! Santa wrote me a letter!
'My elf helper said no one was better
So here's your reward for when you get bored
PS thanks for the cookies, go-getter!"'
Then to my surprise she hands me a box
'Just in case santa filled your sock with rocks'
Lifting up the flap carefully unwrap
An ornament of a hand painted fox
The lump in my throat is swallowing pride
Today is the day I finally cried

Today is the day I finally cried
The doorbell rings I swing it open wide
'What the heck is this?! Hi! Merry christmas!'
Was I mad or glad? I couldn't decide
Introspections gotten pretty severe
Of all the people in this hemisphere 
I guess I don't mind, put it all behind
They made the effort, they're here, that is clear.
The rest of the day went by us so fast
A reunion of the ghosts of my past
What is this grin,  like being born again?
I can't believe it, these feelings won't last
Introspections gotten pretty severe
How do I feel about Christmas this year?

How do I feel about Christmas this year?
I desperately want my spirit to cheer
As a matter of fact, its all an act
I don't know The last time I shed a tear 
The lump in my throat is swallowing pride
Listening in, I may need a new guide
Faith is a blind leap where the dark runs deep
Face first of course, hands and feet both hog tied
The greatest lesson to learn is to wait
There's no way to know when now is too late
I guess if I'm pressed I just want to rest
To make it another year would be great
The lump in my throat is swallowing pride 
Today was the day I finally cried

This is impressive, to say the obvious.  My favorite one was the one about waiting, and in general, the ones where other people are involved seemed like the best.  Not that the introspecitve bits should be removed, but it seemed to pick up pace when others came up.  

That's a first reading response.

[CRNDLSM]

Thank you so much tqb, I just want everyone to try a crown, anyone can get lucky!

[Michaelpoet]

I am impressed by your ability to write such a long piece. As I was reading I noticed that you don't lose momentum at any point. Good skill.