To Whom it May Concern

[Wjames]

While we have always sought to be a model corporate citizen,
it has recently come to light that our efforts in this area have fallen short.

In accordance with the auditor's recommendations,
we have adjusted our risk-appetite framework
in order to better align the interests of shareholders
with those of the community.

By following these best practices, we will work to regain the trust
of our clients, business partners, and key stakeholders,
while continuing to navigate a challenging competitive landscape
with a focus on efficiency, and profitability.

In order to demonstrate our commitment to this change,
our executive team has instituted a company-wide volunteerism initiative.
Each employee will receive one additional paid day off,
with the expectation that these days be used for volunteer work.

Over the coming months, our team members will be on the front lines
cleaning up our parks, caring for the elderly, and building affordable housing.

As we begin this exciting new chapter,
I am confident our renewed focus on ethical practice
will result in sustainable, long-term growth for the business.

[brynmawr1]

While we have always sought to be a model corporate citizen,
it has recently come to light that our efforts in this area have fallen short.

In accordance with the auditor general’s recommendations,
we have adjusted our risk-appetite framework
in order to better align the interests of shareholders
with those of the community.

By following these best practices, we will work to regain the trust
of our clients, business partners, and key stakeholders,
while continuing to navigate a challenging competitive landscape
with a focus on efficiency, and profitability.

In order to demonstrate our commitment to this change,
our executive team has instituted a company-wide volunteerism initiative.
Each employee will receive one additional paid day off,
with the expectation that these days be used for volunteer work.

Over the coming months, our team members will be on the front lines
cleaning up our parks, caring for the elderly, and building affordable housing.

As we begin this exciting new chapter,
I am confident our renewed focus on ethical practice
will result in sustainable, long-term growth for the business.

Very nice!  The subtle industry double talk is great and illuminates everything that is wrong with corporate america(world).  The employees getting an extra paid day as long as they are still working for the bottom line.  Classic (and brilliant)!
bryn

[Wjames]

Thanks Bryn, I'm glad you liked it.

[busker]

My only suggestion would be to replace “auditor general” with “auditor” as an AG is a govt entity that audits only public sector companies. These companies may be for profit, but are not driven by that goal being government and ultimately taxpayer owned.

The irony I got was from the lofty aims of building affordable housing and taking care of the elderly clashing with the meagre actual contribution viz a mere one extra volunteering day. No reason why for profit enterprises should do the government’s work for free, but no reason for the bombast either.

[Wjames]

My only suggestion would be to replace “auditor general” with “auditor” as an AG is a govt entity that audits only public sector companies. These companies may be for profit, but are not driven by that goal being government and ultimately taxpayer owned.

The irony I got was from the lofty aims of building affordable housing and taking care of the elderly clashing with the meagre actual contribution viz a mere one extra volunteering day. No reason why for profit enterprises should do the government’s work for free, but no reason for the bombast either.

Thanks Busker, I made that change.

I liked the idea of the corporation having committed some nebulous misdeed that is glossed over, but of course everything can only be spun as a positive - it can only help the business.

[Michaelpoet]

The things we do for acknowledgment from those in authority is terrible. We do more than we should in trying to make something of ourselves in this world.