Sleepless nights

[Weeded]

It's late to the night owl,
Early to the morning bird.
5:28 a.m.; hunger pains me.
I wipe the sleep from my sleepless eyes
and pour a bowl of cereal.
Crunch! Kills the silence,
I search the room for inspiration
yet get the most from inside my eyelids.
Ideas of ways to entertain my brain
to a state of inactivity, I write.
I blink twice, thinking it's time,
yet each time I lay my head
I give myself a reason to raise it again.
It's insane, I think to myself with a blink.
Nothing but darkness, plenty reason to sleep.
Yet my mind wanders in creative lust.
Wishing I could, but I can't,
Wishing I would, knowing I should,
I guess it's just another sleepless night out here in the hood.

[Quixilated]

Ah, here it is! I agree, eating in the middle of the night is so loud! Totally sympathize with this whole thing. Lay down, story idea. Lay down, weird noise. Lay down, oops forgot something. Read. Look at clock, ack have to wake up soon! Lay down, guilt trip for a while about how tired and cranky will be tomorrow, I mean today now I guess.

My favortie part: "Ideas of ways to entertain my brain into a state of inactivity" .... exactly!

This is in Misc. so I hope it's ok that there's not real crit, just enjoying a fellow insomniac's point of view.
--Quix

[rowens]

Seems like it might sound better after hearing it out loud. Can you post an audio version? get the most from inside my eyelids is the best line to me.

[Weeded]

Quix
Haha it's crazy how our nightly ritual is so similar, makes me wonder if it's the same for fellow insomniacs!


Rowens
I've never once attempted spoken word, but here goes nothin!
http://vocaroo.com/i/s02fJ9VWa5BG

[rowens]

I'll listen to it when I get on a computer where I can hear. On paper, or screen, it's okay. But it does have that spoken word feel.

[ellajam]

Rowens
I've never once attempted spoken word, but here goes nothin!
http://vocaroo.com/i/s02fJ9VWa5BG

Nice job on the reading.

[Mark A Becker]

Well well well weeded-

I have experienced a similar scene so many times I've lost track. It is interesting that you are aware of the presence of the muse in the wee hours. Sometimes though the muse could care less, it seems.

Also, many of my great pre-dawn ideas are just that great pre-dawn ideas that don't hold up in the light of day.

Being that you posted in MISC I will forgo with a proper critique. That said, there may one day be gold in those Wheaties (or Weedies)...

good luck,
...Mark

[Weeded]

Sounds good Rowens, and Thanks Ella



Mark,
Yes this poem seems like it belongs more in the "For Fun" section after waking up and rereading it 
I don't mind a proper critique, but I probably won't be doing any editing on this one. It served it's purpose: putting me to sleep 

[shemthepenman]

for me insomnia is the moment the whole world suddenly becomes fascinating, when it should be becoming soporifically dull.

anyway, i think the spoken word version is excellent! you say you have never tried spoken word before, but i would suggest keeping it up and doing more.

[Weeded]

Shem I swear it's up and down for me, depending on my mood I'm assuming. Sometimes I spend the whole night reading, reflecting, and perhaps writing a bit. Other times I feel like the Narrator from Fight Club. Not sure if you've seen it, but he says "When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep, and you're never really awake." Last night was a good night though 

And thanks man, I rap so I guess that kinda is spoken word? I've never actually listened to any spoken word poets.. I'm definitely gonna get into it more though!