Pet Cemetery

[crow]

https://soundcloud.com/christopher-young...t-cemetery

Promise I'll start giving feedback again very soon

[cidermaid]

    Nearly wet myself.
My daughter has literally just got back from the movies to watch dear Mr Grey...she told me the place was full of grannies (and these would be rural grannies round here - weathered and worn, with a seriously mean rolling pin action).  Anyway they had all gone in secret and greeted each other with joy and surprise, to relate their cover stories, share hard gums and then proceeded to call across the auditorium to each other, throughout the film, with questions about each others preferances.   (Apparently they are all now planning to meet up for the release of the next film).
Alice thought the grannies significantly improved her enjoyment of the film and is invited to join them for the next occassion.

The very next thing I went to was your little offering...I think I might need a drink to get over it.
Thank you brilliant.

Ps you have a fab voice and delivery..and brownlie is mistaken about the bonners.   (Though the hot french bread has it for me  )

[just mercedes]

Wow! You are seriously GOOD!!!!

[crow]

Thanks, y'all! That cheers me up nicely

[shemthepenman]

https://soundcloud.com/christopher-young...t-cemetery

Promise I'll start giving feedback again very soon

Very entertaining, in an odd sort of way. I would like to see the text, though.

---

I don't think I understand are you claiming to be the artist that wrote this (the Ramones).  If so why are you posting it here?  If not I think you are in the wrong forum.  This is about original work not just what art you like.

I should take this back a bit. If you are the original artist my apologies.  It just seems strange to me that it would appear here.

follow the link.

[Leanne]

Oh dear lord, how did I miss this? Mind if I share on Facebook? The world needs to know

[tectak]

Thanks, y'all! That cheers me up nicely

It is so good you can fuck right off and write some more!
Best,
tectak

[crow]

Leanne,

I will not ever ever say no to you.

crow

[Leanne]

You know it's serious when there's a double negative involved

[Erthona]

This is not the Ramones' song by the same name. Here is the link for those Lyrics  

If you are not interested in pursuing this in terms of making it better, that is if you consider this a faite accompli, then there is no need to read further.

Dale
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The airplane was not very effective  I liked the placement of the tambourine, except it was poorly mic'd and the playing was bad. That's to bad, it made the piece, at that point, sound just like a modern Beatnik piece. It would be nice if you were consistent with what background you were wanting your hearers to mentally see. I could wish that the voice box rhythmic expressions could be dropped as they were done poorly and did not enhance the piece. This goes for such things as the "yeah" that you used several times.
Vocally it came across as weak. You sang remarkably well considering it was a cappella, however you need to work on your breath control some as your voice went weak and shaky throughout the piece. Your voice has excellent timbre. Do not waste it. Shore up that spastic diaphragm so that you have good breath flow throughout. I wish my voice were naturally that good.
I don't really know the point of the barely audible bells/chimes and crystal bowl. It's as though you went from beatnik to scary "B" movie. I don't think changing the background image every minute or so helps the piece, plus the chimes/bowl background just sounds to much like a cliche.
Someone wished for a text of the piece, I would like to see one also as you at time spoke faster than you are capable and you tended to run your words together.
I could see this as slam. I don't think there is anything that would prevent a tambourine being used, however you would need a more stable and compact shake before the accent. You could also use the tambourine to set the beat as you seem to be wanting to do in various sections. 

Best of luck        

[billy]

fuck me1 is that the ramones???????????????????????????

of course not. great stuff.