Help Me Title This!

[Erthona]

Ode to Toad

toad on road
tire on toad
toad in road

-spring fashions have arrived with a thump-

[rayheinrich]

Ah, a title. How about:

"Bad Postmodern Poem"

I think that is very descriptive.
dale

And what part of 'postmodern' don't you understand?

The responsibility of an informed postmodern poem would be to call itself bad.
(Oh, wait, I guess having that title would fulfill the specification... never mind.
[And of course, as observers, the only option we have is to call ourselves bad.])

But, never you mind, this is a postmortem poem and we are not prescribed
(nor morally obligated) to participate in any religious, sectarian, or paleozoic rites
concerning or implicated by this vile product (my apologies to the author) visited
upon us by a wrathful (and at times quite impetuously grotesque) GOD.

That said, I find this as a refreshing breeze wafting across millennia of misunderstanding
and would proffer the suggestion that one might consider titling the aforementioned
wordage: Eight-Headed Giant Serpent's Counterattack.

Ray

[just mercedes]

The love song of an angry toad.

[Erthona]

Pshaw, there are no "Eight-Headed Giant Serpent," there are only six headed giant serpents as the eight headed variety six months ago. They developed the "serpent head exploding virus" which only affects  "Eight-Headed Giant Serpent." The species died out because of this virus. while the virus did not kill the serpent, it would cause two of the serpent's heads to explode at random time intervals between 10 and 20 minutes. As the serpent was always in crisis because at best their heads had grown back only ten minutes before the next two heads exploded. As the serpents were too distracted to mate, when the last of the 8 headed ones had died off, there were no young serpents to replace them, thus the 8 headed serpents went extinct. As this was written in the the book of real mythical creatures which is the ultimate authority on any mythological (real or imaginary) or magical creatures. The article that described the extinction was rigorously peer reviewed by top men in the field. Most them had to get out of the field as it had rained and turned the ground into muddy waters. As such strenuous measures were used to vet the paper, we cannot doubt factual of this papers veracity. The CEO of MMC (mythical magical creatures) aka, Jim god, has ruled that in reverence of such noble creatures no one shall use the name as a title of any form of writing, but doubly so for all forms of poetry: no exceptions!
So the use of " Eight-Headed Giant Serpent's Counterattack" is verboten and any thought of using such should be dropped immediately or face the wrath of Jim god and his elite fighting group, the hillbilly hooligans. Do not raise the ire of Jim god, or he will done stomp on you.

Therefore please consider my alternative suggestion as it will give you access to a wider portion of Americans as hillbilly's no longer hold a mythical place in the hearts of toast most all peoples.

Sincerely,

Edward B. Knottingbeef, esquire OBE OBBB (Officer of beatles*, bugs and bad breath)          .   


* This honor will be withdrawn in the next half century as it is estimated that all beatles (even Paul) will have gone extinct. Supplementary of addendum # 131 of the unabridged OED.

[Brownlie]

I'm finding these paragraph blocks quite amusing. I know people do prose poems, but I'm not sure what the convention is on those. By the way the myth is part of the collective unconscious and one walks away from it all yelling illuminati.

[rayheinrich]

Jim god, Knottingbeef, Brownlie... the complexities of space-time are enough
to bewilder even the most ardent of titlests.

But as one of the unardent, how about:

The Salmon of Doubt

[ajcohen613]

ouch?

[rayheinrich]

ouch?

But lots of people read your poem.
What matter a bunch of idiots paid service.

[Erthona]

ouch?

Ouch indeed. See what happens when you stay away so long?

Title: "Brody Toady," or "A Mantis is not a Toad," or "Lost in Spaces," "Dumpster Diving for Artz," or "Pink Embryos for Launch."  

dale

[rayheinrich]

Or:

"Could you help me with this marmot?"


"Where the fuck is the mantis when mom's astral projection goes south?"

[ChristopherSea]

"Toad the Wet Asphalt"