When Time Froze

[brandontoh]

Thanks for reading my poem! =)

Pantoum Sonnet: When Time Froze

We’re running on borrowed time;
She’s vanishing, waving goodbye…
Heartbeat slowing as the great clock chimes;
Whom I hold dearest I find myself losing.

She’s leaving, fading, vanishing…
Helplessness envelops, as
Whom I hold dearest I find myself losing.
A wish, that none of this is real…

Helplessness envelops, as
Warmth slowly seeps away from her.
A wish, that none of this is real,
As tears make her image a fuzzy blur.

Heartbeat slowing as the great clock chimes,
We’re running on borrowed time.

[brandontoh]

Thanks. I had lots of fun writing in this form, maybe I'll write another one soon.

[Poppy]

I think there is still room to expand on this.
You offer the reader lots of imagery - but never really tell us why she is running on borrowed time.

Writing is art in pictures – Go paint poetry!