Box

[brandontoh]

Thanks for reading my poem! =)

Box

A sturdy box, with a slot on top.
A sturdy box, without a key.
It takes in words, of a special kind.
It takes in words, never giving them back.
Words are kept, thinking we could take them out.
Words are kept, reminders of our cowardice.
Words unspoken.

We hold the box, hug it tight and close,
Maybe it keeps aspirations alive.
We hold the box, always touting it,
Maybe it’s been overused.
Let go, and stop longing.
Let go, and be brave.
Before hope turns into
Words unspoken.

[rowens]

It is simple and at the same time subtle. On its own, it doesn't draw much attention. But it does carry a little mystery. Though it seems pretty obvious what kind of box it is, and the message is clear.

It stops being subtle. It's one of those poems that has a title that adds to the interest, like pointing to a void. "Box". And I like that. But it doesn't carry very far.

It seems on the verge of having a deep effect on someone, but then stops short. Though, as I said, it clearly gets its point across

[brandontoh]

Thanks. =) I write it with simplicity in mind, and well, I honestly didn't intend to let it give a deep effect on people. However, if it seems that way to you, what do you think would improve the "let go..." lines so that the implications are removed?

[rowens]

No. It's pretty simple, and if you want it that way, that's ok.

To me, it just seems like it's part of something more. Like a minor poem. But you've been posting many other poems, so I'll look at those.

Sometimes I feel that certain poems carry more weight when seen in the light of the poet's other poems. And for some reason I got that feeling about this one.

It gives me the feeling of: All right, off to the next one.