Posts: 848
Threads: 231
Joined: Oct 2012
Carpet pattern pedestals, extract me from the floor,
terrified by the void outside my door.
Faces long looked at twist to grotesque,
half light indulgence puts metal to the test.
Notes you can touch dance out from the tune,
watch the vibrations bounce colour round the room.
Paranoid glances shout out in your head,
porcelain stomach cramps wish you were dead.
Posts: 5,057
Threads: 1,075
Joined: Dec 2009
(10-09-2012, 05:29 AM)TimeOnMyHands Wrote: Under my tongue, goes the hermeseta, a real hermeseta?
laced in toxins waiting to great ya
Carpet pattern pedestals extract you from the floor,
terrified by the monster void outside my door
Faces long looked at, twist grotesque
pallets all over, looking their best pallets just feels wrong, is that what you meant or should it have been palettes or another word?
Notes you can touch, dance out from the tune,
watch the vibration, bounce colour round the roomi've had a few acid trips that gave a similar view
Paranoid glances shout out in your head
Cold porcelain stomach cramps, wish you were dead this last couplet is excellent. a solid image of what happens after taking certain foreign substances.
am i missing something or is hermeseta another name for, or a type of acid
in places the meters great and in a couple other tightening it up would enhance the poem. successful in originality. some of the images are very strong. i enjoyed it
thanks for the read.
Posts: 848
Threads: 231
Joined: Oct 2012
Thanks Billy Palette not pallet and Greet not great,Ha Ha, its late, one take, well two now (forgot to keep original again) hermeseta = microdot doped and colour, it looks like a hermeseta, well thats my excuse !!!
Posts: 5,057
Threads: 1,075
Joined: Dec 2009
that's what i thought it was but i just wanted to make sure. all the names have changed multiple times since my day

back then, green barrel was the tab of choice