Senryu

[billy]

hi Bee, great start.

did you know that senryu like the haiku usually has a seasonal word in there somewhere?
on that premise can i suggest something along the lines of;
words melt like ice; for the first line. (or something along that line)

the cut works a treat and has an underlying softness about it.

[addy]

Though it lacks the seasonal word to make it a formal senryu, I thought it was great in its own right: "Everytime you touch me // new languages form". An excellent line. Thanks for the share

[billy]

one of the great things about these short forms is that they're easy to edit on the fly :0
that said, the poem still works as it stands like addy pointed out.

[Aish]

I'm also crushing on the line Addy pulled out. Nice work.

[poetsorrow]

this is a beautiful start indeed when you touch me new languages forms wonderful!