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09-22-2012, 05:43 PM
(This post was last modified: 09-23-2012, 08:39 AM by billy.)
edited with thanks to aish.
all the lambs are dead
ewes bleat over torn corpses-
someone cries wolf
Quote:original
all the lambs are dead
ewes bleat over torn carcases-
someone cries wolf
Posts: 259
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I think you misspelled ' carcasses'.
I love the first and final lines. I want to love the second. Maybe torn throats instead of carcasses?
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
Posts: 5,057
Threads: 1,075
Joined: Dec 2009
yes i did
i think you're right that carcasses isn't the best word to use. i'll do an on the fly edit.
thanks for the feedback aish