< dog woke me up >

laughing at a dream
squirrels, meat, chocolate
it's always food with him
mine was an old girlfriend
her way
when she had a cold
of sticking a finger in her nose
scooping out a big blob
and flicking it at me

- - -

Oh yummy.

Do you mean "old girlfriend" as in "a girlfriend from a long time ago" or as in "this old woman that I used to date"? :p

(11-14-2011, 02:35 PM)Leanne Wrote:  Do you mean "old girlfriend" as in "a girlfriend from a long time ago" or as in "this old woman that I used to date"? :p

Leanne, do you mean "old woman a long time ago" or "old woman now"?
Now-a-days they pretty much fall into these two categories.
Well, I guess there's a third: "dead". But wait: If Mark Twain
can still have birthdays, why can't my dead girlfriends?
So, OK, we're back to two categories.

P.S. Would you like me to dig up some of my dead girlfriends' poems and post them?

I don't think you're allowed to send decompositions through the mail.

In the interest of giving my honest opinion I will tell you that I loved the first 80% of you poem. I started reading it and each line made me start over until by the time I got to the disgusting part I'd read it several times through. Then you turned my stomach and I felt cheated of my beautiful quasi-spiritual ending

I think it's a great poem, but individual taste keeps me from truly appreciating it. Thanks for sharing and I hope I have not offended you.

Mark said: "Then you turned my stomach and I felt cheated of my
beautiful quasi-spiritual ending"

Sometimes, when art imitates life, it ain't pretty.
And since the same goes for love poems, it ain't pretty twice.

Gasp! Dogs aren't allowed chocolate!

(11-16-2011, 08:02 PM)addy Wrote:  Gasp! Dogs aren't allowed chocolate!

[font=Courier New][size=small]
I keep telling him that, but he just laughs.

i liked it,but then i'm a bit weird everybody here tells me

(11-16-2011, 08:59 PM)srijantje Wrote:  i liked it,but then i'm a bit weird everybody here tells me

"bit weird" Some sort of computer freak?

rayheinrich Wrote:Sentient on Tuesdays with Morrie

/fixt

I'm with Mark on this.....I reckon you made the last bit up just to disgust us.

The first 80% was a great piece of writing.

In my early poetry-writing days I would attempt to write a serious poem...but then would put a comic punch-line on the end (because, I suppose, I didn't want people to pour scorn on my writing and so I pipped them at the post, so to speak)...is this what you are doing?

gj said: "made the last bit up just to disgust us."

Didn't make it up, Kathy really did that. (I did it back too.)
Love has its gross rituals that are proofs of intimacy; I was
just relating one. I guess Kathy's and my threshold for gross
is higher as we mainly thought it was funny. (To put it in proportion:
oral sex just HAS to be MUCH grosser than snot.)


gj said: "In my early poetry-writing days I would attempt to write
a serious poem...but then would put a comic punch-line on the end
(because, I suppose, I didn't want people to pour scorn on my writing
and so I pipped them at the post, so to speak)...is this what you are
doing?

Wasn't doing that on this one, but yes, I have done similar things in the
past. I remember getting SO pissed at surprise endings that I began putting
them at the front as a sarcastic joke. But it worked so well I added it to
my toolkit. My wife (one of our intimate rituals is farting contests) says
that telling the reader who the murderer is at the start is a time-honored
device in mystery fiction. It relieves the reader's obsession with a resolution
and allows her/him to concentrate on the story.

(11-18-2011, 06:13 PM)rayheinrich Wrote:  
...(one of our intimate rituals is farting contests)...

Sounds like a perfect marriage