spider tiptoes
mist over crossed lines
the rain is coming

(12-17-2009, 05:51 PM)addy Wrote:  spider tiptoes
mist over crossed lines
the rain is coming

Thanks for posting them again addy.
I hope i can remember what i said last time.

this was the one i really liked.
it shows why the 5,7,5. syllable count is only
a guideline.

for me the poem shows an image of an
almost perfect moment in time. A microcosm of nature.

on reflection. Is the "the" needed. i think it's okay but i couldn't write one as good as this.

thanks for sharing it. I'd say it's a publishable poem.

i feel humbled,iwill try harder myself,billy is right ,rain is coming would have been better perhaps

or maybe rains are coming.
what to do?