I am the hated one
that unites everyone:
the one idea they share is their collective contempt against me,
the venting vehicle for their hostility.

Without inhibition or the remotest restraint
they hurl verbal expletives in my direction and paint
me as the cause of their misery
and the cathartic purge of all that's septic in their history.

Eighty times a day I must look over my shoulder
while their denigrations of me become louder and bolder.

I am an easy target for their verbal onslaughts,
clearly visible in my black sneakers, white socks and midnight blue cargo shorts.

I am their inverted panacea
with no room for doubt in their criteria,
for I am the antithesis of brotherhood in men.
My only weapon is my pen,
ticketing them for a mere parking violation.

(01-23-2011, 09:28 AM)waitingforgodet Wrote:  I am the hated one is 'one' needed?
that unites everyone:
the one idea they share is their collective contempt against me, would this line work as 'they share their collective contempt against me,'?
the venting vehicle for their hostility.

Without inhibition or the remotest restraint
they hurl verbal expletives in my direction and paint
me as the cause of their misery is 'their' needed?
and the cathartic purge of all that's septic in their history. is 'and' needed?

Eighty times a day I must look over my shoulder
while their denigrations of me become louder and bolder.

I am an easy target for their verbal onslaughts,
clearly visible in my black sneakers, white socks and midnight blue cargo shorts.

I am their inverted panacea
with no room for doubt in their criteria,
for I am the antithesis of brotherhood in men. is 'for' needed?
My only weapon is my pen,
ticketing them for a mere parking violation.

at first i struggled with this one then i thought it had possibilities, and then at the end i understood it. i liked the way it opened up for me.

from my POV i think the poem needs a little work on the enjambment.
where the blue room worked well in a prosy style of long lines. for me this one doesn't fair as well.
ie;
I am the hated one
that unites everyone:
the one idea they share is their collective en-jamb here
contempt against me,
the venting vehicle for their hostility.
or
I am the hated
that unites everyone:
they share their collective
contempt against me,
the venting vehicle for their hostility.

of course that's JMO and can be ignored with hurting me lol.
whatever you decide i did enjoy the read. thanks for posting jim.

This one made me LOL ... the last verse was my favorite. I agree that the enjambment needs a little work, so there's more consistency in the length and rhythm of each line (not just the rhyme at the end). Enjoyed this one... thanks for the read

Yes, enjambment, my new word, and it makes sense. Thanks.