Mid-argument,
she presents the paper
as if it were a sword --
"Sign".

Which I do.

I pour hot sake
into my cup and watch
the steam.
She shuts the shoji, opens
the bedside drawer

where I placed
her Japanese moccasin.

(Today, 02:09 AM)robdaley Wrote:  Mid-argument,
she presents the paper
as if it were a sword --
"Sign".

Which I do.

I pour hot sake
into my cup and watch
the steam.
She shuts the shoji, opens
the bedside drawer

where I placed
her Japanese moccasin.

I almost can get down with the voice, which feels like a thin door trying to hold back a tidal wave. Maybe we need just a bit more tension seeping through the cracks. The deflated resigned thing is good but the risk is making the surface simply feel flat. That kind of happens here. It's hard not to shrug.

---

Part of the issue I think is that "which I do." Feels so final, like such a closing off. It's hard to continue after that.

But the speaker does, and they're like "I pour some booze" and I'm like great who cares?? Y'know?