Close of Day

Until tomorrow’s explanation
dusk will have to do.
It’s an inhuman job
one that needs an entire planet
to give it definition.

Leaves bow before a gusting wind
frenzied silhouettes
backlit by the dying sky’s slow turn
to darkness.  Soon enough
the trial is over.  Judgement is delayed.

I step back into artificial light
pleased to know all that was
is no more and night is forever
until the disbelief of another day.

Hi Tim-
Don’t what it is about you poems that works for me, but they always seem to.
I really like the way you open the poem.
Thanks for this one,
Mark

(07-14-2023, 11:13 AM)Mark A Becker Wrote:  Hi Tim-
Don’t what it is about you poems that works for me, but they always seem to.
I really like the way you open the poem.
Thanks for this one,
Mark

Thank you Mark.  I had a good feeling about this one.  I know it's not perfect, but it always helps to get an affirmation.  I probably should have put it into one of the critique sections, but I was feeling protective when I posted it.

Your presence has been missed.  Hope everything is OK.

Tim

(07-14-2023, 09:01 PM)TranquillityBase Wrote:  Your presence has been missed.  Hope everything is OK.
Tim

Well Tim- I'm now trying to reccover from a month of home remodeling. My back ain't glad, but I am glad to be back.
Mark

ps- I posted a final version of 'A Brother's Grip' over in INTENSE. Would appreciate your look-see.

(07-14-2023, 12:34 AM)TranquillityBase Wrote:  Close of Day

Until tomorrow’s explanation
dusk will have to do.
It’s an inhuman job
one that needs an entire planet
to give it definition.                 I like the double meaning off 'definition' as in giving meaning and shape.

Leaves bow before a gusting wind
frenzied silhouettes
against a backlit sky’s slow turn       backlit by/in/within a ...?
to darkness.  Soon enough
the trial is over.  Judgement is delayed.

I walk back into artificial light
pleased to know all that was      I like the enjambment here with the turn into the next line
is no more and night is forever
until the disbelief of another day.

Ha, you thought you could hide here in Misc.  Very nice as usual.  Couldn't resist making one suggestion.
Take care.

(07-15-2023, 04:46 AM)brynmawr1 Wrote:  Ha, you thought you could hide here in Misc.  Very nice as usual.  Couldn't resist making one suggestion.
Take care.

Thanks for the read Bryn,

Good suggestion, will do.