Bead-Fall


No crisis can compare with climax of
our needs for simple soul-detaining beads
of comfort - care which, unsupplied, concedes
our lifeline's necklace snapped and lost to love.

A friend's sincerity cannot provide
a relative's connection to each strand
of multicolored ancestry, or band
together from our start to share the ride.

One life's a sequence perfectly unplanned
which rattles others crosswise and above–
its happenstances knit of swing and shove,
one string of beaded curtains in Fate’s hand.

So roll me up, fair neighbor, in this bind
of chance relation, consequent but kind.

(10-15-2020, 11:37 PM)dukealien Wrote:  Bead-Fall


No crisis can compare with climax of 
our needs for simple soul-detaining beads
that, when unfocused, unsupplied concedes I think the words are too big for me to imagine what you're saying, 
our lifeline's necklace ended, lost to love.
Beads on the necklace are I guess instances of our lives souls?
A friend's sincerity cannot provide
a relative's connection to each strand
of multicolored ancestry, or stand each sentence just trips me up on the jumps between ideas, I 
alone by choosing one or other side.
The friends sincerity can't stand alone, how does it choose a side? Side of the bead?
One life's a sequence perfectly unplanned
engaging others crosswise and above--you clearly know what you're saying, but I'm piecing together every four or so words to harness the full image, and I'm straining
its happenstances knit of twist and shove, 
one fall of beaded curtain bright and grand.
Beaded curtain... Beaded strings on curtains knit, or do I knit, knit of twist...
So roll me up, fair neighbor, in this bind
of chance relation, consequent but kind. I like this ending but it was difficult for me to get here..

Is a bead-fall a thing?  I'm curious about what you're saying and I wonder if there is a simpler way to depict it.  Thanks for sharing! 

edit;

No crisis can compare with climax of
our needs for simple soul-detaining beads
of comfort - care which, unsupplied, concedes
our lifeline's necklace snapped and lost to love.

A friend's sincerity cannot provide
a relative's connection to each strand
of multicolored ancestry, or band
together from our start to share the ride.

One life's a sequence perfectly unplanned
which rattles others crosswise and above–
its happenstances knit of swing and shove,
one string of beaded curtains in Fate’s hand.

So roll me up, fair neighbor, in this bind
of chance relation, consequent but kind.

---

Thanks, @CRNDLSM, for the good critique.  My thinking was a bit disordered when I wrote that one, and it shows.  Hope this edit addresses your objections somewhat.  It started without much direction and turned into sort of a sonnet   .