What I want to say 
is not as important
as the colour of a rose
that cannot see itself, 
yet is red each year
it blooms...but I find it 
difficult.

tectak
2018

(03-04-2018, 05:43 AM)tectak Wrote:  What I want to say 
is not as important
as the colour of a rose
that cannot see itself, 
yet is red each year
it blooms...but I find 
it difficult.
tectak
2018

The rose remembering to be red each year despite not being able to see itself, definitely puts memory as the quality that is the the principal subject of the poem for me. Is that why find it difficult to say what you have to say - because you forget? Finding it difficult to speak brings some other undertones as well, though. The ending seems somewhat weak at first glance, but given that this is a short poem, with a lot of the talking left to the reader, it works fine. Anyway, enjoyed reading this immensely.

(03-04-2018, 02:48 PM)ritwiksadhu33 Wrote:  

(03-04-2018, 05:43 AM)tectak Wrote:  What I want to say 
is not as important
as the colour of a rose
that cannot see itself, 
yet is red each year
it blooms...but I find 
it difficult.
tectak
2018

The rose remembering to be red each year despite not being able to see itself, definitely puts memory as the quality that is the the principal subject of the poem for me. Is that why find it difficult to say what you have to say - because you forget? Finding it difficult to speak brings some other undertones as well, though. The ending seems somewhat weak at first glance, but given that this is a short poem, with a lot of the talking left to the reader, it works fine. Anyway, enjoyed reading this immensely.

....Hi ritwi,
....I was trying to create a punctuation paradox. Probably an element of sarcasm, too. I get weary....If you put a period after rose, things get modified...if you put a period after itself, things get modified....."yet" is without a condition....if you put a period after year, things get modified....It blooms but I find IT difficult...what is "it"? Read...sorry...Red... may be a short piece but I no longer feel best, tectak

(03-04-2018, 05:43 AM)tectak Wrote:  What I want to say 
is not as important
as the colour of a rose
that cannot see itself, 
yet is red each year
it blooms...but I find 
it difficult.
tectak
2018

Honestly, the most distracting thing about it is how the signature intrudes upon the rest of the poem -- I'd imagine if this were in print, things wouldn't be so distractingly close. Otherwise, looking at this logically, does a blind black man lose his blackness if he can't see himself? Which is an example I put only because this reminds me of a certain, very hilarious Chappelle skit....as well as that tired meme, "What's in a name?", and maybe even that Umberto Eco book I'd never read. And at this point, we've surpassed logic, entering into this poem's weird world: I imagine the third "it" refers to what the speaker wants to say, with my original impression being that the saying is surpassed by the being, but again, I fall into that strange word, "logic". And besides, red is my favorite color, for roughly the same reason that blue is the warmest for certain lesbians, so at this point I don't really care about inconsistencies -- in fact, that seems to be the point. Lovely work.

(03-05-2018, 12:01 AM)RiverNotch Wrote:  

(03-04-2018, 05:43 AM)tectak Wrote:  What I want to say 
is not as important
as the colour of a rose
that cannot see itself, 
yet is red each year
it blooms...but I find 
it difficult.
tectak
2018

Honestly, the most distracting thing about it is how the signature intrudes upon the rest of the poem -- I'd imagine if this were in print, things wouldn't be so distractingly close. Otherwise, looking at this logically, does a blind black man lose his blackness if he can't see himself? Which is an example I put only because this reminds me of a certain, very hilarious Chappelle skit....as well as that tired meme, "What's in a name?", and maybe even that Umberto Eco book I'd never read. And at this point, we've surpassed logic, entering into this poem's weird world: I imagine the third "it" refers to what the speaker wants to say, with my original impression being that the saying is surpassed by the being, but again, I fall into that strange word, "logic". And besides, red is my favorite color, for roughly the same reason that blue is the warmest for certain lesbians, so at this point I don't really care about inconsistencies -- in fact, that seems to be the point. Lovely work.

Hi river, 
 Yep...maybe I should extend the punctuation requirement to a couple of carriage returns after the last line...although I like your take so will leave as is

I watched The Name of the Rose in 1989, Nottingham. Connery was never the same as James Bond after that....Umberto was an (imaginary) friend of mine...I quoted him often and probably still do

If you're a blind black man and you don't know it....are you still black? Well, there's nothing blacker than blind so we are now on a whole new and surreal journey in to the mind of a rose. Have you ever wished you'd never started something?
Best and thanks, 
 tectak

(03-04-2018, 05:43 AM)tectak Wrote:  What I want to say 
is not as important
as the colour of a rose
that cannot see itself, 
yet is red each year
it blooms...but I find -- consider moving it up to this line, and leaving difficult by itself, which would give you the ambiguous reading of I find it which then shifts for more impact
it difficult.

If the rose was aware of its colour, would it make a difference to the rose?  It's just the colour it's always been.  The self-referential rose and its metanarrative becomes irrelevant from within, but may impact heavily on others who ascribe meaning to it according to their own experience.  We are a series of symbols interpreted and written upon by others -- and often we find that we are more concerned with commenting upon and to those others than we are on examining and interpreting ourselves.  

Therefore, what is red?  It is the colour of a rose whose meaning is lost in a thousand various implications.  No wonder it's difficult.

(03-05-2018, 05:53 AM)Leanne Wrote:  

(03-04-2018, 05:43 AM)tectak Wrote:  What I want to say 
is not as important
as the colour of a rose
that cannot see itself, 
yet is red each year
it blooms...but I find -- consider moving it up to this line, and leaving difficult by itself, which would give you the ambiguous reading of I find it which then shifts for more impact
it difficult.

If the rose was aware of its colour, would it make a difference to the rose?  It's just the colour it's always been.  The self-referential rose and its metanarrative becomes irrelevant from within, but may impact heavily on others who ascribe meaning to it according to their own experience.  We are a series of symbols interpreted and written upon by others -- and often we find that we are more concerned with commenting upon and to those others than we are on examining and interpreting ourselves.  

Therefore, what is red?  It is the colour of a rose whose meaning is lost in a thousand various implications.  No wonder it's difficult.

...I didn't say I was surprised...

(03-04-2018, 05:43 AM)tectak Wrote:  What I want to say 
is not as important
as the colour of a rose
that cannot see itself, 
yet is red each year
it blooms...but I find 
it difficult.
tectak
2018

Hi tectak
I must be going soft in my old age but I read this as a declaration of love and how without real understanding of whys and wherefors it remains, such that the fact of being in love means so much more more than having to justify it or wrap it up into words. I like the ambiguity of the last line but in my read it appertains to both scenarios. My nit would be a small one about red in title and again for the rose one of them isn't needed. Best Keith

(03-05-2018, 06:52 AM)Keith Wrote:  

(03-04-2018, 05:43 AM)tectak Wrote:  What I want to say 
is not as important
as the colour of a rose
that cannot see itself, 
yet is red each year
it blooms...but I find 
it difficult.
tectak
2018

Hi tectak
I must be going soft in my old age but I read this as a declaration of love and how without real understanding of whys and wherefors it remains, such that the fact of being in love means so much more more than having to justify it or wrap it up into words. I like the ambiguity of the last line but in my read it appertains to both scenarios. My nit would be a small one about red in title and again for the rose one of them isn't needed. Best Keith

Hi Keith,
I'm happy with the love poem interpretation as long as it is generic...love of anything, including the romantic. Specifically, in my mind, was love of language with its nuances, falsehoods, uncertainties, misrepresentations, comfort, familiarity and of course, its difficulties.
Best,
thanks you old softy,
tectak