Talking to Yourself

God vomits creation.
The Lord looks needy in the garden.
God's serpent teaches hermaphrodites to eat.
Lord God kicks everyone out.

Nice one Kole - that made me laugh. I found myself contemplating the line "The Lord looks needy in the garden". Very cool.

(09-24-2016, 10:19 AM)kolemath Wrote:  Talking to Yourself

God vomits creation.
The Lord looks needy in the garden.
God's serpent teaches hermaphrodites to eat.
Lord God kicks everyone out.

(09-24-2016, 10:19 AM)kolemath Wrote:  Talking to Yourself

God vomits creation.
The Lord looks needy in the garden.
God's serpent teaches hermaphrodites to eat.
Lord God kicks everyone out.

I'm having trouble getting my head around this - you mean, before the knowledge of sin was handed over by the serpent, there was no sexual differentiation?  That both Adam and Eve were hermaphrodite until they ate? 

Why wasn't I told?

All is made in minor forms
like shape-shifting beasts
and immortal mutant cells.

I have set in motion
every swiftly spinning spiral.

I have broken up the stars
that are fatally fated to be
separate supernovae.

In a loosely bound book,
I have written a perfect law;
a breeze turns the page.

(09-23-2016, 06:46 PM)shemthepenman Wrote:  Thanks. and thanks for sharing. yours is my favourite. i can say that, right?

Thanks so much; I won't stop you

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I appreciate how the ending you wrote brings a peacefulness to the poem. I wondered about the swiftly spinning spirals become the breeze that turned the page. And, I wondered about a book containing a perfect law being loosely bound. Very thought provoking.

(09-24-2016, 12:56 PM)UselessBlueprint Wrote:  All is made in minor forms
like shape-shifting beasts
and immortal mutant cells.

I have set in motion
every swiftly spinning spiral.

I have broken up the stars
that are fatally fated to be
separate supernovae.

In a loosely bound book,
I have written a perfect law;
a breeze turns the page.

I can't think of titles...

UB - I like the way your poem alludes to randomness in creation, a creator whose blueprint blew away while he was working on it ... 'fatally fated' feels wrong - maybe that's just me though

I am Ares.
 
Saddam Hussein swings
in my throne room.

I feast on
turducken 
as the troops 
run breakneck Sunday! Sunday!
 
My trysts,
contained within the web,
demanded ransom.

Poetic Justice


How many works have you written
that ended in fire? You think catastrophe

is free of my past -- and yes,
there is only after the fact.

But first drafts
are unbecoming of a laureate,

and only a fool
looks at the edge of a knife

and sees sides. Steel
glitters in light, ink

spits out only darkness --
perhaps your reason

is too fragile. Then yes,
the edges of the page

are sharp enough,
and it is time to publish.

[/quote]




I'm having trouble getting my head around this - you mean, before the knowledge of sin was handed over by the serpent, there was no sexual differentiation?  That both Adam and Eve were hermaphrodite until they ate? 

Why wasn't I told?
[/quote]

the feminists would blame patriarchy (even if some argue a woman wrote parts of the old testament). one feminist interpretation is that Adam wasn't a man, more of a hermaphrodite, and that man and woman were made simultaneously in separating the hermaphrodite into two sexes. so i guess they weren't hermaphrodites when they ate the forbidden fruit.  i'll have to revise for that technicality..

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(09-24-2016, 11:34 AM)cvanshelton Wrote:  Nice one Kole - that made me laugh. I found myself contemplating the line "The Lord looks needy in the garden". Very cool.

(09-24-2016, 10:19 AM)kolemath Wrote:  Talking to Yourself

God vomits creation.
The Lord looks needy in the garden.
God's serpent teaches hermaphrodites to eat.
Lord God kicks everyone out.

yeah jack miles pointed this out to me. in the garden, the "lord" (not god) asks, "where are you?" is if an omnipotent being would need to ask such a question.. needy deity looking for his pals.

(09-24-2016, 07:42 AM)just mercedes Wrote:  'You be their crack' - what a classic put-down from God! Love it.

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Thank you JM much appreciated. Best Keith

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[quote='Keith' pid='217171' dateline='1474664357']
The God Placebo

You are so fricking talented it's ridiculous.

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Thank you Lizziep you are very kind. Best Keith

(09-24-2016, 10:44 PM)kolemath Wrote:  the feminists would blame patriarchy (even if some argue a woman wrote parts of the old testament). one feminist interpretation is that Adam wasn't a man, more of a hermaphrodite, and that man and woman were made simultaneously in separating the hermaphrodite into two sexes. so i guess they weren't hermaphrodites when they ate the forbidden fruit.  i'll have to revise for that technicality..

    If God, being genderless, made us in his image (is there no end to the hubris of humans?), then we were created as Ken/Barbie
and the original sin  was God's. This probably happened on the eighth day, with evolution being created on the ninth.  Of few feminists,
just like some members of the patriarchy, might assert this.  It has everything to do with who gets bragging rights to power and vengeance.  
Most feminists agree with most members of the patriarchy in finding this simplistically amusing.  Evolution, sexual or sexless, works either
way (though the sexless way takes much longer). -- And I DO love this poem.

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(09-24-2016, 11:34 AM)cvanshelton Wrote:  Nice one Kole - that made me laugh. I found myself contemplating the line "The Lord looks needy in the garden". Very cool.

(09-24-2016, 10:19 AM)kolemath Wrote:  Talking to Yourself

God vomits creation.
The Lord looks needy in the garden.
God's serpent teaches hermaphrodites to eat.
Lord God kicks everyone out.

yeah jack miles pointed this out to me. in the garden, the "lord" (not god) asks, "where are you?" is if an omnipotent being would need to ask such a question.. needy deity looking for his pals.

    God, evidently, wasn't above using metaphor.