Edit Amber2
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...............conducting
...............amber
...............through a gateway



Original

mmm, I like it. I like the jaggedness of the lettering, the amber warmth of sunrise and electricity, the intrusion of spikes into the beauty. For me all the parts of the piece fit together and on top of that it's both beautiful and makes me think.

Thanks for posting it, good one.

(06-13-2016, 06:44 AM)ellajam Wrote:  mmm, I like it. I like the jaggedness of the lettering, the amber warmth of sunrise and electricity, the intrusion of spikes into the beauty. For me all the parts of the piece fit together and on top of that it's both beautiful and makes me think.

Thanks for posting it, good one.

Thanks Ella, for some reason I must have a thing for electricity pylons because I seem to have took a hell of a lot of pictures of them. Something about the contrast with nature makes it more interesting. 
I found out the other day that the word 'electric' comes from the Latin 'electricus' meaning resembling amber which comes from the Greek 'elektron' meaning amber. Something to do with when they used to rub amber and it would become electrically charged. I wanted to try and use that in this picture and after looking up 'pylon' and realising it was Greek for 'gateway' then it wrote itself.
I should really give some credit to photoshop, but I won't... It was all me.

Thanks for commenting,

Mark

I like the use of the Greek and the Latin, especially the amber as it can function on so many levels, could probably do without the addition of sunrise, seems redundant. Can't say I'm wild about the title spelling, it reminds me of a bad movie with a similar spelling for the heroine, "Elektra" I believe it was, of course that is probably just me.

dale

(06-13-2016, 01:24 PM)Erthona Wrote:  I like the use of the Greek and the Latin, especially the amber as it can function on so many levels, could probably do without the addition of sunrise, seems redundant. Can't say I'm wild about the title spelling, it reminds me of a bad movie with a similar spelling for the heroine, "Elektra" I believe it was, of course that is probably just me.

dale

Hi Dale, good to see you back.
I agree about the title, for some reason it just looks odd with that 'k' even though I would usually prefer the 'k' over the 'c'. I did originally have the title 'electrum' which also means 'amber' but because 'pylon' was Greek spelling I went for the Greek overall, hmmm.
I also was wondering about 'sunrise', perhaps its placement in the picture is making it redundant if it was on the other side of the pylon it may work.

Thanks for your thoughts on it,

Mark

Addition - I've added two possible alternatives

I think the picture itself speaks well enough, and so do the words, and together they really are great, but their blending, with the words being placed directly in the picture, distracts from both, what with the words being out of order, and worse still with the image being practically vandalized. I'd much prefer if the words were separate, say, if this were a card, drawn on the back, or if a film, spoken -- here, simply written below the untouched picture. But if I really had to choose, edit 1b please, since sunrise needs not be said. And I like the title, although mainly because not even the Ancient Greek princess came to mind -- I was too distracted by electromagnetism.

I like the original. The sunset indeed speaks for itself and as I've learned regarding haiga, the words and image should not touch upon or explain each other directly. Your first one avoids that quite nicely! I also do not mind the words on the image as that is what haiga is about.

(06-16-2016, 11:55 PM)RiverNotch Wrote:  I think the picture itself speaks well enough, and so do the words, and together they really are great, but their blending, with the words being placed directly in the picture, distracts from both, what with the words being out of order, and worse still with the image being practically vandalized. I'd much prefer if the words were separate, say, if this were a card, drawn on the back, or if a film, spoken -- here, simply written below the untouched picture. But if I really had to choose, edit 1b please, since sunrise needs not be said. And I like the title, although mainly because not even the Ancient Greek princess came to mind -- I was too distracted by electromagnetism.

I've done another edit that is picture and words separate. I know what you mean about the words being placed directly on the picture, it is always going to compromise the picture to a degree and in this case I think that both elements suffered in their battle with each other. I do think it is possible to achieve words on a picture and for them to enhance each other, I'm just not sure I found that way yet. I might try and create the picture to go with a poem instead of writing a poem to fit a picture.

Cheers for your thoughts

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(06-17-2016, 12:29 AM)justlikeyou Wrote:  I like the original. The sunset indeed speaks for itself and as I've learned regarding haiga, the words and image should not touch upon or explain each other directly. Your first one avoids that quite nicely! I also do not mind the words on the image as that is what haiga is about.

Hi thanks for reading and your thoughts. There is another edit up although it's not a replacement more like an additional possibility. I see merit in both ways of doing these picture poems, I guess I just haven't found the right balance yet.

Thanks again,

Mark