A poster recently deleted his poem claiming terminal embarassment. I leave that spelling mistake in to show empathy. Furthermore, I post this, my first EVER poem, in order to lessen the plight of those who believe that shame should lead to deletion.

Teach-in at the Youth Club…by a suitably Qualified Person.

This is a piston, it goes up and down…
It’s fixed to the crankshaft down here.
The crankshaft, you see, goes round and round…
am I making myself quite clear?

This is a valve, it can open and close
and this little rod is what moves it.
The petrol comes in through this flexible hose.
Look, in that glass thing…that proves it.

The petrol is turned to a vapour by this,
its technical name is a jet.
And what often happens, should your engine “miss”
is that this…er…the carb, is not set.

The manifold carries the vapour to each
of the plugs…sorry…cylinders. True,
in order to work, a small spark must reach
each piston in order…yes… blue!

This is the…don’t interrupt me I beg…
distributor, sorry…it’s not.
(Oh, blast I’ve got oil on my left trouser leg…)
It’s a…(damn it. I think I’ve forgot)

It’s a WHAT…it’s a fuel pump…of course, yes. I KNOW.
Let’s get on, please;I don’t have all day.
If you don’t want to learn believe me I’ll go.
I’m not doing this for the pay.

Now, what was I saying? Ah, yes…the spark.
It’s here where it does all the work.
Well what would YOU call it, for one extra mark?
A…spark…plug. Well yes, but don’t smirk.

OH? It is? (Damn clever Dick) How would you know?
You’re a fully trained up car mechanic?
Well, in that case you can take over the show,
I’m going outside for a …panic.

tectak
1959

I love it, am I making myself clear? Actually, you had quite the knack for meter, however you got there.  
You show potential, young man.

If I was able to be embarrassed by my bad poetry I only have to go back two years to the villes I posted here having no idea that a set meter (what's that?) was part of the deal. But mere poems do not have that power, I found it pretty amusing when the sinkholes were pointed out, still do.

Tectak,
Thank you!!! This is encouragement is well timed.  If I had known that posting poetry could give a person stage fright and writer's remorse at the same time, I  would never have had the courage to join in the first place.  However, I am here because I want to learn and, you are right, deleting my account in a massive panic is not going to accomplish that.  

So, even though your first ever poem is still intimidatingly better than anything I have written, or am likely to write for a long while yet, I will soldier on.  I will quiet the nagging voice in my head that whispers that my words are a crime and my only option is to wipe the scene for fingerprints and get out.  I will instead continue to regale you all with stumbling meter, obnoxious rhymes, and melodramatic angst ... not intentionally to torture you, but it just seems to be the growing process.    

I've been reading through the halls here of poems past, and I just about died that I asked people who can write like that to look at my paltry attempt to knit together a few words.  It's like asking Picaso how he likes my stick figure.  *cue crushing mortification*  I never had delusions of grandure, I have no desire to be published or amazing.  I just want to play on the plaground for as long as the big kids will let me.

So, on behalf of all us struggling newbies, thank you all for taking the time to give support, advice, and encouragement.  I'm certain that without that there would be a much higher poem mortality rate.    

(07-17-2015, 10:12 PM)Quixilated Wrote:  Tectak,
Thank you!!! This is encouragement is well timed.  If I had known that posting poetry could give a person stage fright and writer's remorse at the same time, I  would never have had the courage to join in the first place.  However, I am here because I want to learn and, you are right, deleting my account in a massive panic is not going to accomplish that.  

So, even though your first ever poem is still intimidatingly better than anything I have written, or am likely to write for a long while yet, I will soldier on.  I will quiet the nagging voice in my head that whispers that my words are a crime and my only option is to wipe the scene for fingerprints and get out.  I will instead continue to regale you all with stumbling meter, obnoxious rhymes, and melodramatic angst ... not intentionally to torture you, but it just seems to be the growing process.    

I've been reading through the halls here of poems past, and I just about died that I asked people who can write like that to look at my paltry attempt to knit together a few words.  It's like asking Picaso how he likes my stick figure.  *cue crushing mortification*  I never had delusions of grandure, I have no desire to be published or amazing.  I just want to play on the plaground for as long as the big kids will let me.

So, on behalf of all us struggling newbies, thank you all for taking the time to give support, advice, and encouragement.  I'm certain that without that there would be a much higher poem mortality rate.    

You've hit on one of the amazing things about this site: People who really know how to write really good poetry are willing to help those of us who know nothing move along our own stumbling paths. It's like hitting the poetry lottery, their patience and willingness to repeat themselves endlessly to help out those of us less educated and much less talented is a rare gift. I'm always shocked when new members waste this opportunity, nothing wrong with being the lesser poet in this bunch. oink

(07-17-2015, 10:12 PM)Quixilated Wrote:  Tectak,
Thank you!!! This is encouragement is well timed.  If I had known that posting poetry could give a person stage fright and writer's remorse at the same time, I  would never have had the courage to join in the first place.  However, I am here because I want to learn and, you are right, deleting my account in a massive panic is not going to accomplish that.  

So, even though your first ever poem is still intimidatingly better than anything I have written, or am likely to write for a long while yet, I will soldier on.  I will quiet the nagging voice in my head that whispers that my words are a crime and my only option is to wipe the scene for fingerprints and get out.  I will instead continue to regale you all with stumbling meter, obnoxious rhymes, and melodramatic angst ... not intentionally to torture you, but it just seems to be the growing process.    

I've been reading through the halls here of poems past, and I just about died that I asked people who can write like that to look at my paltry attempt to knit together a few words.  It's like asking Picaso how he likes my stick figure.  *cue crushing mortification*  I never had delusions of grandure, I have no desire to be published or amazing.  I just want to play on the plaground for as long as the big kids will let me.



So, on behalf of all us struggling newbies, thank you all for taking the time to give support, advice, and encouragement.  I'm certain that without that there would be a much higher poem mortality rate.    

Confidence is a strange commodity when you start out. Without it you are crippled by shame and write not a lot but some of it may be worthy...with it you write a whole load of shite but some of it may be worthy. Moral? Read the work of others and try to determine which group is right for you.
Nobody gives a damn which group you are in...after all, it's unlikely you will stay in either group for long.
Best,
tectak

It's so easy to get self-conscious when posting for the first time, even for seasoned poets. To subject your first poem ever to a hard crit is enough to make you want to forgo writing anymore at all. And it sure doesn't help a heck of a lot when someone comes along and tears your poem to shreds, or tells you it's really only useful as toilet paper.

I really like the idea of posting first ever poems in a separate forum-space, specifically for the first poem you've ever written, even if it's the only poem you've ever written or you've written 20000 since. Setting them apart would be neat, and also I'd really love to see some more of the vet's first poems. I would definitely post my first poem in it!

Best,
Em

There is a "post your first poem" thread somewhere

(07-19-2015, 08:56 AM)milo Wrote:  There is a "post your first poem" thread somewhere

http://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-13634.html

(07-19-2015, 09:02 AM)ellajam Wrote:  

(07-19-2015, 08:56 AM)milo Wrote:  There is a "post your first poem" thread somewhere

http://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-13634.html

ellajam always helpful.

that tecktak's a clever bastard by half  

(07-19-2015, 11:37 AM)billy Wrote:  that tecktak's a clever bastard by half  

...wait til I post my SECOND poem....you may half change your mind. (Still a bastard)

Youth clubs had teach ins ? I thought this was great, educational, amusing, well metered, and well behaved. 1959, how many poems do you have?

(07-22-2015, 02:46 AM)Keith Wrote:  Youth clubs had teach ins ? I thought this was great, educational, amusing, well metered, and well behaved. 1959, how many poems do you have?

Hi keith,
I went from post pubescense to petrol-head and back in a year. Once cars and sex occupied the parts of my brain which had one been used for storing Kings of England and Avogadro's number I started writing poetry...so my early stuff was all on cars and (pro) creation. Heady stuff but still written when I needed to hide my innermosts so not a lot remains. Fact is, I lost a whole load of the steamy 60's "reality" work to one femme fatale who was easily overcome by the spiritual side of shagging that I gave her a whole exercise book as advanced payment for a years gratification. I never got it back...why should I expect to? A good sonnet is fungible with a good shag.
So that leaves cars. Are you sure you want anotherr?
Best,
tectak

(07-22-2015, 05:10 AM)tectak Wrote:  

(07-22-2015, 02:46 AM)Keith Wrote:  Youth clubs had teach ins ? I thought this was great, educational, amusing, well metered, and well behaved. 1959, how many poems do you have?

Hi keith,
I went from post pubescense to petrol-head  and back in a year. Once cars and sex occupied the parts of my brain which had one been used for storing Kings of England and Avogadro's number I started writing poetry...so my early stuff was all on cars and  (pro) creation. Heady stuff but still written when I needed to hide my innermosts so not a lot remains. Fact is, I lost a whole load of the steamy 60's "reality" work to one femme fatale who was easily overcome by the spiritual side of shagging that I gave her a whole exercise book as advanced payment for a years gratification. I never got it back...why should I expect to? A good sonnet is fungible with a good shag.
So that leaves cars. Are you sure you want anotherr?
Best,
tectak

I quite enjoy a good car poem, gentlemen start your engines.

Awesome. This gave me a giggle. The imagery took me through a comedy skit as though a bumbling mechanic was showing an audience the workings of a combustion engine. Thanks

(08-26-2015, 03:05 PM)velvet_morph Wrote:  Awesome. This gave me a giggle. The imagery took me through a comedy skit as though a bumbling mechanic was showing an audience the workings of a combustion engine. Thanks

Thanks velv,
I'm not sure about "awesome"...ever....but it does what it says on the can
Best,
tectak

nice poetry

my first poem was the most awful thing ever written. compared to yours tom; on a scale of one to ten; yours being 10, mine was 2 or three.

(09-21-2015, 06:04 PM)billy Wrote:  my first poem was the most awful thing ever written. compared to yours tom; on a scale of one to ten; yours being 10, mine was 2 or three.

Hi billy,
A confession. After my first ever poem I got worse, because people told me how good it was
Best,
Tom

Tectak,
My first poem was not nearly that good, nor as amusing, really it's kind of scatter-brained but that just adds to the amusement I probably wouldn't have the nerve to post it if it were mine... then again posting any poetry on here is a little intimidating for me. Thanks thanks thanks for that bolster in my confidence