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A snake in the hand,
a cock in the frigid bush,
sucking life away.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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(09-22-2013, 01:08 AM)Erthona Wrote: A snake in the hand,
a cock in the frigid bush,
sucking life away.
Dale
Glad you were inspired!

I'm curious what you exactly meant with the second line though
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1st line is masturbation, 2nd line means having sex with a non-fertile woman, "life" is a man's seed. Very Catholic, as Catholics at one time believed it was immoral to use condoms. I am not Catholic, nor do I believe that way, but it was fun to play with the double meaning of the words. I was also reminded of the Monte Python song, "every sperm is sacred". Partial lyrics below
"I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.
You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,
Because
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate."
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
Posts: 5,057
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(09-22-2013, 01:08 AM)Erthona Wrote: A snake in the hand,
a cock in the frigid bush,
sucking life away.
Dale
like it,
merely because it's succinct already i'd suggest losing the two A's
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Billy,
Wouldn't fit the syllable count, old Bean ...we can't have that! I mean if this were a real poem, I might consider that, but as it is not: all must be subordinate to the form, as only rational nonsense in this situation can prevail!
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
Posts: 104
Threads: 14
Joined: Sep 2013
Ah I see, your first line has a much different meaning than mine, and the rest of the poem makes more sense to me now. Nice to see a different interpretation, thanks for sharing!