The lighthouse Keeper...Final edit.Thanks to all who workshopped this.
#1
Aye, my rolling, fishy friends, a'bobbin' out in black thrashed, blue flashed night:
hold course for me and make no sudden slew, for I will wake for you when time is right.
Come flicker flame, do not shy out...run fast and thirsty round the ring 'til bright!

Shine out! Shine far! Glow on them, pale and shriven in their prayers.
Mastheads glimmerin' white in steamin' ride,
says hope is still afloat in this the wildest blow
and this the highest tide!

Ah, but how they need me now, the strangest want for sure.
So yellow up, my oily friend, and only company.
Fly to my stagg’rin, blinded boys, all washed in frothed cold brine;
in fear they peer, grim-gripped through salty sting
with vision scaled, to glimpse your lantern lance. So fling
out bold your long cast, time-fast beam
and warn the seeking souls to keep from me.
We'll grant their wish and wheels will judder rudders hard,
to turn about and bearing change, against the chains of this wild sea.

Thank God, they'll say, at last we see the light, and we are saved!

And they will hold themselves and tightly bond. Comrades closer by the peril past;
but me, a stranger to the day and to the misted, fog-feart crews,
I am alone.
I talk to Him and tell my tales of crashing crests and ink washed sky,
of winds that skin the dolphins' fins, and storms that suck the mercury
back down the glass. In times like these He hears my voice;
though gulls rough tossed from hoisted swell, all rise a'screaming
like the babes at home. At home. At home. At home.

Aye, say I, this fire-tipped finger shan't be bent nor broken
by the writhing deep! I'll keep this watch, my rolling, fishy friends
and proudly send you harbour bound.
Tell them you saw the sweeping sign
that all is fine,
and I will soon be there.

Tectak
April 2013
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#2
No crit here... I love it!
this is just awful. It is blushingly faux-poetic - Milo
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#3
(04-19-2013, 01:00 AM)Crepuscule Wrote:  No crit here... I love it!

I can only say credit to all on this site who expressed and put forward their critiques. This belongs to them.
Best,
and thanks
tectak
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#4
i think this is your finest hour.
because the poem is extensive, it will have niggles to some no matter what next you edit.
i think this is worthy of locking away or submitting to somewhere that accepts poetry submissions.
no more crit from me, it's a wrap Smile
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#5
(04-19-2013, 11:11 AM)billy Wrote:  i think this is your finest hour.
because the poem is extensive, it will have niggles to some no matter what next you edit.
i think this is worthy of locking away or submitting to somewhere that accepts poetry submissions.
no more crit from me, it's a wrap Smile

Shit billy, so its all downhill from hereSmile
Thanks. I'm leaving now.
Best,
tectak
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#6
yep, reaching pinnacles is never good Big Grin
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