I swore I loved you at three in the morning over too rum and coke

[SnarlingThroughOurSmiles]

If you asked me what heartbreak sounds like, I would tell you
It's the guttural growl of a motorcycle engine,
the grind of rubber against asphalt
the fading roar of a motorcycle flying down the road.
Or rather,
these are the sounds that precede heartbreak,
and heartbreak actually sounds like
the swallowed half-sigh that follows,
because I keep turning back to see if it's you
and I keep forgetting that you're not here anymore.

If you asked me what heartbreak tastes like, I would tell you
It's the burn of tequila and the scorch of rum,
the bite of vodka and the kick of whiskey.
It's the acrid, eye-watering sting of bile and hard liquor
rushing up my throat as I cry over the toilet about
how much I loved you
love you
can't stop loving you.

If you asked me what heartbreak feels like, I would tell you
It's the twisting, cramping wrench of your stomach
as the alcohol wrings all the feelings out of you
It's the unforgiving hardness of linoleum against my knees
and the burning in the corners of my eyes
Thin skin rubbed raw by the salt of exhausted tears
It's the bruised circles on my hands
Left as I bite myself, trying to stay conscious enough to walk home
It's the hollowness of being purged
Of flushing love away down the toilet.

This is heartbreak
It's crying your name between painful heaves,
forehead leaning against the porcelain,
cool like a blessing, like forgiveness
An angel's fingertips saying do not worry, child
it will be better
you will be better.
It's curling in on myself to fill the scraped-out space behind my sternum,
a place that used to be filled by your hoodie
and now there's nothing to chase away the nightmares.
It's missing the feeling of your arms wrapped around me,
your bike jackets enveloping me like carbon polymer-and-leather armor
Untouchable
It's remembering everything you ever did for me:
Midnight at my window
2AM at the beach
Hour and a half drive for my brithday
Asking for pictures every day I was away
And wondering how I read that wrong

That's it
This is heartbreak
Remembering

[ellz483]

Hey, I think your first three stanzas are so good and effective, that the fourth one seems unnecessary. It's kind of the classic "show, don't tell" predicament. I like how you use the different effects the grief of heartbreak has on the body to get your point across because it does convey helplessness and a feeling of destruction. The last stanza is not as strong, in my opinion. Maybe that's the point, though. Did you mean for it to be less organized because that's how the speaker is feeling at that point? As in, having more of a mental down spiral, rather than the experience being limited to the physical alone?

[Psyve]

At the risk of sounding trite and generic, let me say I thought this was pretty brilliant.

Your words  evoke a strong imagery in my mind's eye of alcohol fuelled grief and confusion at being "dumped".

Not sure I agree with Ellz483's assessment of the fourth verse. For me it is a vital closer after the sequence of the first three verses  on what heartbreak sounds ,tastes and feels like.  

For me  the fourth verse is the closing credits in the movie.  I  visualise mascara streaked cheeks in the harsh light of the toilet:   "crying your name between painful heaves, forehead leaning against the porcelain," says it beautifully.

I also like the way you use the  flood of memories to add to the protagonist's confusion: What did I do wrong? What should I have read into all these things to see this coming?

A very minor suggestion: Verse 2 line 4: I think you meant "eye watering" rather than "eye water". Suspect its just a typo you may want to consider.

-Psyve

[i.might.be.a.bit.sad]

I really like how you describe heartbreak without sounding too cliche and generic. However, some lines where you refer to the other person directly "you, your name" is the only part where i start to lose the original connection and start to feel like im reading a cliche. I might try rewriting it as "their name" or "them" as it makes it extremely relatable to everyone.