Midnight Service

[Keith]

You can’t go up there,
you've not been confirmed.
Why the hell not?
I’ll just take my turn.

It’s just not done
and your too drunk.
Oh please shut up,
let’s go see the monk.

He’s the vicar,
you don’t know what to do.
I’m going up,
come on I’ll follow you.

Stop laughing,
Its consecrated wine.
You must be joking,
I have to kneel in line?

I’m sorry vicar,
he thinks it’s a game.
Its Ok my child,
God loves us all the same

Its midnight on Christmas eve
and you came in to pray.
Don’t get all excited pops,
we only came to play.

In all of his finery,
he looked at me and winked,
put the body of Christ on my tongue
and gave me blood to drink.

We stayed to sing the carols,
the punk versions of course.
The regulars looked unchristian
and we had no remorse.

I shuck the vicars hand and said
goodbye to Gods palace.
He leaned in and whispered,
“you’re an arse
and I spat in your challis”.

[Magpie]

Brilliant stuff very funny indeed. I like the line "You must be joking,
I have to kneel in line?" I also like all the little references to the Catholic service without mentioning the word,good old transubstantiation, very clever.
Many years ago when I used to get forced to midnight mass, I can remember on at least 2 occasions were drunk people turned up, much to my amusement, and then midnight mass got moved to 7pm because it was such a problem.
Thanks for the read
AR

[Volaticus]

I got a great laugh from this I didn't expect the last two lines, and that just made it even funnier. S4 must be my favorite. Love the humor.
Thanks for the read.
-LB

[Keith]

This is very clever and funny.
I thought that the priest was being understanding until the end.
I got a good laugh at the Lets go see the monk line.

Thanks comments much appreciated TOMH

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Brilliant stuff very funny indeed. I like the line "You must be joking,
I have to kneel in line?" I also like all the little references to the Catholic service without mentioning the word,good old transubstantiation, very clever.
Many years ago when I used to get forced to midnight mass, I can remember on at least 2 occasions were drunk people turned up, much to my amusement, and then midnight mass got moved to 7pm because it was such a problem.
Thanks for the read
AR

Glad you noticed the cross over from CofE to Catholic and thank you for your comments TOMH

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I got a great laugh from this I didn't expect the last two lines, and that just made it even funnier. S4 must be my favorite. Love the humor.
Thanks for the read.
-LB

Thank You for taking the time to read and comment, I wasn't sure people would get S4 so its good to know you enjoyed it, thanks. TOMH

[Catcherin]

Great stuff, very much enjoyed. Did make me feel like drinking in a church though. Maybe I'll take up this religion thing.

[Keith]

Great stuff, very much enjoyed. Did make me feel like drinking in a church though. Maybe I'll take up this religion thing.

Thanks Catcherin, its a good point you make and actually when you think about it, if you find a church there is usually a Pub next door TOMH