Haiku
#1
Eyes locked in battle,
Curiously confident,
Me and the Bird thief.
feedback award wae aye man ye radgie
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#2
(05-02-2013, 08:48 AM)ambrosial revelation Wrote:  
Eyes locked in battle,
Curiously confident,
Me and the Bird thief.

Love this gem! I would think I would love it more if you dropped thief.
Fine haiku!
best,
Heart
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#3
(05-02-2013, 09:45 AM)Heartafire Wrote:  
(05-02-2013, 08:48 AM)ambrosial revelation Wrote:  
Eyes locked in battle,
Curiously confident,
Me and the Bird thief.

Love this gem! I would think I would love it more if you dropped thief.
Fine haiku!
best,
Heart

Hi Heart,
Thanks for the kind comments regarding my haiku.
I wish I could drop the thief... from a great height,
but alas, he's too nimble to catch....
feedback award wae aye man ye radgie
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#4
did/does it want to steal the bird or eat it?

it make for a good senryu
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#5
(05-02-2013, 02:52 PM)billy Wrote:  did/does it want to steal the bird or eat it?

it make for a good senryu

Hi Billy,
At first when I wrote this, it was the use of the word thief that I was happy with, I felt that it set it apart from other Haiku I had wrote. But after thinking about it you and Heart are right, because it's not strictly true even though I may see it that way from my point of view.
But up until today I never really knew what senryu were, but now I do, and you're right,it does seem to fit into that category better.
Cheers for the input.
feedback award wae aye man ye radgie
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#6
i just read the two senryu, it seems you';re a cat/bird person Smile
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