In Bed with Schizophrenia Edit 1 Rowens (both of them), true and I think billy

[tectak]

This madness never knows its mind, nor tempts me with its sanity.
I live beside the constant cliff, the sleep-fall step, the rising flood
that sweat makes fear. This is the way of doldrums day
and pointless night.

I turn towards unfocussed walls and slip the knot that tethers me;
then having loosed the Golden Cord I shuffle off the hangman’s hood
that kept me calm. Freed falcon, now, a bird of prey,
I take to flight.

Dark air beneath, above me… void; in wind-rushed circles, I am free
but for the wing that brushes close! The binding twin’s familiar blood
that pumps through me (a heartless pulse in corpse of clay),
will bleed me white.

So madness writes another play, another grasped reality.
I cannot hold on long enough to grip a dream, I never could
that transit make into the day. In feared false dawns we slide away
back to our plight.

Tectak
2013

[Keith]

You have captured well the dreamscape of madness and roll us throught it with some great images, I have a couple of nits that I will point out / question but I have enjoyed this poem and will again.

This madness never knows it’s mind, nor tempts me with it’s sanity. Do you need its twice ?
I live beside the constant cliff, the sleep-fall step, the rising flood great images
that sweat makes fear. This is the way of doldrum day
and pointless night.

I turn towards unfocussed walls and slip the knot that tethers me;
then having loosed the Golden Cord I shuffle off the hangman’s hood why are the walls unfocused if you cant see ?
that kept me calm. Freed falcon, now, a bird of prey,
I take to flight. smooth transition, dream like

Dark air beneath, above me… void; in wind-rushed circles, I am free
but for the wing that brushes close! The binding twin’s familiar blood
that pumps through me (a heartless pulse in corpse of clay),
will bleed me white. this is creepy but v good

So madness writes another play, another grasped reality.
I cannot hold on long enough to grip a dream, I never could
that transit make into the day. I don,t understand this but could just be me
In feared false dawns we slide away
back to our plight. strong finish

Tectak
2013

[tectak]

You have captured well the dreamscape of madness and roll us throught it with some great images, I have a couple of nits that I will point out / question but I have enjoyed this poem and will again.

This madness never knows it’s mind, nor tempts me with it’s sanity. Do you need its twice ?
I live beside the constant cliff, the sleep-fall step, the rising flood great images
that sweat makes fear. This is the way of doldrum day
and pointless night.

I turn towards unfocussed walls and slip the knot that tethers me;
then having loosed the Golden Cord I shuffle off the hangman’s hood why are the walls unfocused if you cant see ?
that kept me calm. Freed falcon, now, a bird of prey,
I take to flight. smooth transition, dream like

Dark air beneath, above me… void; in wind-rushed circles, I am free
but for the wing that brushes close! The binding twin’s familiar blood
that pumps through me (a heartless pulse in corpse of clay),
will bleed me white. this is creepy but v good

So madness writes another play, another grasped reality.
I cannot hold on long enough to grip a dream, I never could
that transit make into the day. I don,t understand this but could just be me
In feared false dawns we slide away
back to our plight. strong finish

Tectak
2013

Thanks tomh,
The unfocussed walls did not work. I was trying to get the imagery of lying in bed and deliberately turning to face the (very close) wall...turning, if you like, away.
The transit into day which lets slip away the dream, is, I felt, almost a cliche. Maybe It only happens to me.I stopped smoking over 30 years ago.
For two or more years I dreampt so lucidly that I was smoking, that right up to the point of actual wakefullness I could FEEL the cigarette between my fingers...then it disappeared with returned awareness.
The idea of trying to describe how a schizophrenic dreams has fascinated us both for years.
Best,
tectak
I will make changes.

[Truerenigma]

This madness never knows it’s mind, nor tempts me with it’s sanity.
I live beside the constant cliff, the sleep-fall step, the rising flood
that sweat makes fear. This is the way of doldrum day
and pointless night.

I turn towards unfocussed walls and slip the knot that tethers me;
then having loosed the Golden Cord I shuffle off the hangman’s hood
that kept me calm. Freed falcon, now, a bird of prey,
I take to flight.

Dark air beneath, above me… void; in wind-rushed circles, I am free
but for the wing that brushes close! The binding twin’s familiar blood
that pumps through me (a heartless pulse in corpse of clay),
will bleed me white.

So madness writes another play, another grasped reality.
I cannot hold on long enough to grip a dream, I never could
that transit make into the day. In feared false dawns we slide away
back to our plight.

Tectak
2013

Only one little nit for me right, night now. " sweat makes fear" I hate it. Loved the rest. I actually prefer this to any of the other poems I've seen you post. Not that I didn't enjoy the others (I did), I just happen to particularly like this one.

[rowens]

Did you spell it's like that on purpose? It seems like something you would've noticed by now otherwise.

And I know how people with schizophrenia dream. Like most people dream.

[tectak]

Did you spell it's like that on purpose? It seems like something you would've noticed by now otherwise.

And I know how people with schizophrenia dream. Like most people dream.

Yep....B E D. ( but it's a typo!)
Best to you both,
tectak

PS.surely peole who dream like most people suffer from MPD?

[rowens]

There's that Multiple Personality Disorder too. College kids make sure that you know the difference between that and Schizophrenia before they'll continue the conversation with you. Them college kids are a demanding bunch. Some of them grow up to become doctors. Most don't.

---

I'm bad about commenting on comments.

What about the second it's?

[tectak]

There's that Multiple Personality Disorder too. College kids make sure that you know the difference between that and Schizophrenia before they'll continue the conversation with you. Them college kids are a demanding bunch. Some of them grow up to become doctors. Most don't.

---

I'm bad about commenting on comments.

What about the second it's?

Hi rowans,
It's a typo, too!
You make one, the next is easier.
Best,
tectak

[Brownlie]

What is this poem about? Perhaps I am a simpleton but I found it very confusing. Maybe you could explain what madness is in more concrete detail. I am intrigued by this poem, because I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia. Though the term schizophrenia is nebulous doctors speech so if you tell someone you have schizophrenia most likely they will have no idea what you are talking about.

[tectak]

What is this poem about? Perhaps I am a simpleton but I found it very confusing. Maybe you could explain what madness is in more concrete detail. I am intrigued by this poem, because I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia. Though the term schizophrenia is nebulous doctors speech so if you tell someone you have schizophrenia most likely they will have no idea what you are talking about.

See my reply to timeonmyhands.
It isabout being in bed with schizophrenia.
best
tectak

[milo]

I think it captures a schizophrenec's obsession with self but shows too much /awareness/ of self, if you know what I mean. Starting with the first line, "the madness never knows its mind", a schizo is not so aware of their own madness in that way. Pretty much, what I am saying, is this should be third person. It reads more like "this is what I would write if I were mad" from a sane person than the actual non-aware rants of the truly mad. IOW you can proselytize the mad but you cannot proselytize the madness. Yes, the first misspelling was deliberate, i lke the way it looks.

milo

[tectak]

I think it captures a schizophrenec's obsession with self but shows too much /awareness/ of self, if you know what I mean. Starting with the first line, "the madness never knows its mind", a schizo is not so aware of their own madness in that way. Pretty much, what I am saying, is this should be third person. It reads more like "this is what I would write if I were mad" from a sane person than the actual non-aware rants of the truly mad. IOW you can proselytize the mad but you cannot proselytize the madness. Yes, the first misspelling was deliberate, i lke the way it looks.

milo

Hi milo,
Yes, you have got to the nub of it. It has problems, for sure. I am not schizoid so I am guessing. Overwhelmingly, this area of reportage verse suffers from lack of credibility...whether written by a sufferer or not. There is no good way to do it. Not an excuse....but an explanation. I must try harder.
Thanks for your input...perceptive as billy. Now who have I offended?
Best,
tectak

[rowens]

You can diagnose me with a disorder that causes me to comment on comments, I'm sure they have drugs for it.
But funnily enough, schizoid and schizophrenia aren't the same thing either.

[tectak]

You can diagnose me with a disorder that causes me to comment on comments, I'm sure they have drugs for it.
But funnily enough, schizoid and schizophrenia aren't the same thing either.

....I guess that's why they are different words....
Hmmm.
tctak

[milo]

mama and mammogram are also different words.

[Brownlie]

your poem was deleted. if you wish to leave something in the feedback forums as a reply, make it feedback, post your own poetry in your own threads/admin

i have saved a copy of the poem for you should you not have a copy of your own. if you need the copy, please pm me for it. i'll delete the poem from my pc in a couple of days. (i'm learning milo )

[tectak]

Post this on your own thread. It is worth its own critique.
Best,
tectak