#9 (About a Girl)

[SexualChocolate]

-(this was originally written as a song)-

Deep it goes, here again and end to end
Welcome to our brush with life
What have you found here once
Quick to rise, have you felt it since
Tell me what I can bring about
A moment's chance, a dream of fate
Taken back by the thoughts I relate
What's it like to be the Ocean Blue
Currents opaque, I can't help but to drown in you
To be caught in all your depths
Just enough to find my death

Hold me down, Hold me down
I Know your grace is good
Take a breath of fading life, you know I think you should

Claim sincerity and hide your innocence
The city-scapes and inner blues
The darkest of all the teenage cues
Uncertainty; deep, infinite, immense is love
Tell me we can't cross through
Only a twisted strain of youth
A blooming mystery with ignorance infused
Once said "I'll let you take the pain"
Always stumble through the church's wooden pews
Always worth the broken interlude

And as of now, you don't hold too proud
Always in sight of what you want to need
And what you need you never knew
We can always be a broken thing
It's love that crumbles what you know
Beauty lives in us, to immerse it in the world
Just accept defeat with me
Burnish all your travesties
Afterthoughts and the winds of you
Now I am away, I pray flame to last the day
Always I am a saint knelt on your porch
Scorned through one unlasting tour

Hold me down, Hold me down
I Know your grace is good
Take a breath of fading life, you know I think you should

[Heartafire]

-(this was originally written as a song)-

Deep it goes, here again and end to end
Welcome to our brush with life
What have you found here once
Quick to rise, have you felt it since
Tell me what I can bring about
A moment's chance, a dream of fate
Taken back by the thoughts I relate
What's it like to be the Ocean Blue
Currents opaque, I can't help but to drown in you
To be caught in all your depths
Just enough to find my death

Hold me down, Hold me down don't get this
I Know your grace is good
Take a breath of fading life, you know I think you should I feel this line ends with "life"
Claim sincerity and hide your innocence
The city-scapes and inner blues
The darkest of all the teenage cues
Uncertainty; deep, infinite, immense is love
Tell me we can't cross through
Only a twisted strain of youth
A blooming mystery with ignorance infused do you need blooming?
Once said "I'll let you take the pain"
Always stumble through the church's wooden pews
Always worth the broken interlude

And as of now, you don't hold too proud would drop and here
Always in sight of what you want to need
And what you need you never knew
We can always be a broken thing
It's love that crumbles what you know
Beauty lives in us, to immerse it in the world
Just accept defeat with me
Burnish all your travesties
Afterthoughts and the winds of you
Now I am away, I pray flame to last the day
Always I am a saint knelt on your porch
Scorned through one unlasting tour don't really "get" thisHold me down, Hold me down
I Know your grace is good
Take a breath of fading life, you know I think you should again I feel life is the end of this. The rest seems forced

Your lack of punctuation gives this a run on feel for me and because you say it was written as a song, I wonder if it is hip hop. I think that would be fine and would love to hear it. A bit of input, to be binned at will. I think this has good potential with some work.
my best,
Heart