Posts: 6
Threads: 2
Joined: Apr 2013
Was searching hard,
for something ,didnt exist
for a thing without a clue
If only I knew
all the trust I put
it wasnt even true
Walked the road
which lead to nothing new
If only I knew
No tree, no leaves
Dead end is all I could feel
Maybe destiny is trying to show u
If only, u knew
Posts: 9
Threads: 3
Joined: Apr 2013
One word, edit.
I don't even bother reading something written so carelessly.
Posts: 326
Threads: 90
Joined: Apr 2013
Is there any particular reason for spelling mistakes, because at first I assumed that it was intentional for some effect or other. Towards the end it becme s har 2 rad taht i jstu gves ni.
wae aye man ye radgie
Posts: 6
Threads: 2
Joined: Apr 2013
Sorry
Posts: 326
Threads: 90
Joined: Apr 2013
(04-27-2013, 08:21 PM)casey Wrote: Sorry
Much easier to read now, whereas before it was more like a text message and I'm not too good at deciphering them.
Needs a little work on the metre and rhyme but the idea is good with the twist in the last line.
Sorry I was a bit cheeky in my first post to you, but it was 3:21am.
wae aye man ye radgie
Posts: 280
Threads: 42
Joined: Mar 2013
(04-27-2013, 10:42 AM)casey Wrote: Was searching hard, Who?
for something ,didnt exist Comma in the wrong place. Didn't with an apostrophe. Who/What didn't exist?
for a thing without a clue
If only I knew
all the trust I put
it wasnt even true wasn't
Walked the road
which lead to nothing new
If only I knew
No tree, no leaves
Dead end is all I could feel
Maybe destiny is trying to show u I think it would work better with "you". But I think that's a matter of opinion
If only, u knew
Just some small thoughts.
I think the idea is nice, it just needs a little more editing, and some periods wouldn't hurt either. Thanks for the read
Posts: 6
Threads: 2
Joined: Apr 2013
I appreciate your time! Thanx for reading
I'm still a newbie
