(04-11-2013, 03:52 AM)tectak Wrote: (04-10-2013, 07:24 PM)serge gurkski Wrote: Humming soothings to my heart
like a tomcat close to death,
On Good Friday I am bleeding
for a liar crucified:
No more blood of lambs on doorposts.
First of Passovers has passed!
---
with Hebrew at ablemuse: http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/showthread...post281997
with music at my blog:
http://gurkski.wordpress.com/2013/04/10/pass-not-over/
Hi Serge,
brevity is not your style but I risk lighting your fuse with that comment. This is terse-verse. You make your point but one must question your motive. So, you post a link. I will not follow it. I know that this is a foible of mine, but I like poems posted here to be self-sufficient. So...to the crit. Why humming? It has already been asked. Let's get the grammar out of the way. Humming is soothing to my heart. Why humming? Is there a catchy tune to Eloi,Eloi, Lama Sabachthani? Hmm. Now in a different crucifixion I could like the tomcat howl but it loses me here...but worse! You make a displaced metaphor.What is the tomcat close to death like? Humming? Your heart? Soothings? You do not say.
Stanza 2 is hilarious. It must be deliberate. Wasn't it a coincidence that Christ was born on Christmas day
etc etc.
Stanza 3. Excellent.
See, I only ever tell tge truth ( as I see it
)
Best,
tectak
PS brevity in all things....except long things.
why humming: it is so NOT a metaphor, oh people !! sigh
What is the tomcat close to death like? Humming? Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! exactly!
bc at least some cats purr or hum also! when in extreme agony (incl. of course in their hour of dying. You can look that up online. But I have firsthand experience: I sat and cried next to my cat and listened to her soothing herself and I must tell here: Never in my life was I touched so profoundly.
It cut my heart apart.
As this a poem about how to cope with death, the knowledge of the inevitability of it, what I am saying (to myself) is: if I only was a cat in my hour of dying.
thank you for reading.
On a drunker note:
the pass nogg egg no over thang talks back to the ancient hebrew guys and gals jumpin around in a totally uncalled for delirium of handclapping footstomping frenzy-dancey of joy oh joy:
BBBBButttt! again, to quote, haha, beloved-by-leanne sylvie, they are deluded tuh unfuh ---
Because that sucker, death, will surely come back to them, no matter how much blood the smear on their doorposts.
so i tell em: wait a minute guys, party all good and fine, me being the first not in the boat and off the wagon, but but wouldcha pleeze listn to me.. for a sec, befor ya stone me:
Bad news. Its not yet over,-)))))
and hey, to add to the fun:
all the sweet lil lies those bearded rabbis are tellin ya to soothe ya, won't gonna change that bloody fact for a bit.
Includin o'cuz that poor old cheezer, he didn make for a good slaughta lamb eitha ..
(what I am not sayin there( but is implied of course) is that:
so you know, you sweet sexy people, what I'm a gonna do?
I get me foooiiiif (,-), couldnt resist) holy bees :
B rendan
B uk oyvey! ski
Burns of Braes
and a
Bo'l of
Bourbon
byes byes byes
wait ( couln't hold back
and now I'm gonna let you know:
Oh Lord
let my peepee go
(04-10-2013, 09:47 PM)Crepuscule Wrote: (04-10-2013, 07:24 PM)serge gurkski Wrote: Humming soothings to my heart
like a tomcat close to death,
On Good Friday I am bleeding
for a liar crucified:
No more blood of lambs on doorposts.
First of Passovers has passed!
Whew... pretty direct second stanza and I like the imagery in the third. I'm struggling a little with the first though... Why the humming?
Thank you crepus! .-)
I was in a bit of a rant. But surely
not because of you.
You got it ( forget the cat, you could not know).
If only you knew how much that means to me!
cheers
serge
Tom, thank you likewise!
ranting mood: just explained above to crepus. (NOT bc of you)
;-)
Tom: " Now in a different crucifixion I could like the tomcat howl ..."
Have you read the same book, sth with mirror in the title, about medieval history? I forgot the title and female author, damn.
About cats getting crucified?
I hated mankind for that. I understand your mycological inclinations more and more by the day. Not only is this a (lol) mostly invisible cosmos, but also they wisely keep out of human affairs.
Never heard about religious wars (even if papmaché as in N.I) between different "sects" ,-) of mushroomers/ies.
If it was not for you being the Prince of the Pilz, I d feel inclined to come up with a title for a poem: Do mushrooms too have gods?