Scars

[theinspirationvixen]

You tear my heart open,

with all the promises left unkept.

I manage to sew myself shut,

but my weakness will always be,

that I care too much.

The scars that you've left me,

are a burning reminder of the past.

Each one more painful,

and deeper than the last.

You always try to come around,

like the past doesn't exsist.

Only I'm the one who can seem to forget.

I've tried time and time again,

to offer you a chance.

To mend the ties that bind us,

and be a family, for you to be a man.

But once again,

you've left me drowing in the water.

So this is our last stand.

My compassion may be my weakness,

but I'm done reaching for your hand.

You still tear my heart open,

with all your false hopes.

But believe me, I won't let you know it.

My smile puts on a good show,

and behind my clothes,

the scars of the past burn.

You may not see them,

with the naked eye,

but they have taught me

all that I need to learn,

about giving your false hopes another turn.

[PAX]

Hello theinspirationvixen,

I read through your piece a few times already, because it reminded me so much of one of past relationships I did not get any closure over. Somehow you gave me a bit of that when you were describing false hopes, she smiled when I should have bit my tongue but I kept telling her things would be ok. It wasn't at all.
Your piece reads well, although I had trouble initially grasping the flow, it enticed me to continue reading. I am glad I did and am glad you shared your post. Thanks for that!!

PAX

[milo]

Parts of it are entirely too similar to the song, "Scars" by papa roach imo and not in a flattering way. The old adage, "if it's made it into a pop song it must be cliché."
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/paparoach/scars.html

[ChristopherSea]

Parts of it are entirely too similar to the song, "Scars" by papa roach imo and not in a flattering way. The old adage, "if it's made it into a pop song it must be cliché."
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/paparoach/scars.html

This poem may be more than just cliché; it almost borders on plagiarism, especially when you combine the ‘Scars’ title, the ‘you tear my heart open’ , the ‘sew myself shut’ line, etc. However, your version is actually better than Papa Roach’s bad lyric in my opinion. However, no one is accusing you of cheating. As milo points out, the wording is not very original. I would use what you have as a backbone and reword your lines. By the way, every poet uses things they have read or heard in their work. Harold Bloom, a literary critic claimed that all poetry is derivative of what we have read before, that there is no such thing as an original work of art. Good luck with your edit!/Chris