Poet Proclamation

[philoinlove]

Once upon a time
Men would
Stand in the streets.
Poets and
Philosophers,
the doctors
of literate thought
And speech.
All called to town square.
To share
To those despaired
A message
From above
Or somewhere else.

[billy]

hi philo

not sure the centre align helps the poem enough to be utilised.
i thinbk you could get some sharper results by tweaking the enjambment.
ex;
men would stand
in streets poets
and philosophers,
doctors of literate thought ..... (just a suggestion.) you can do the same with the rest of the poem should you wish. there are many ways you can play around to get a better read.

at present there feels to be too many pauses, brevity can be a great thing in poetry but it can also kill a poem if not used wisely

thanks for the read.

Once upon a time too cliched as is (in days of yore )
Men would
Stand in the streets.
Poets and
Philosophers,
the doctors
of literate thought
And speech.
All called to town square. no need for all but you do need a the before town (for flow)
To share
To those despaired 'with' not to
A message
From above
Or somewhere else.not sure the last two lines add anything maybe the last three lines. they sound a tad trite.

[milo]

Once upon a time
Men would
Stand in the streets.
Poets and
Philosophers,
the doctors
of literate thought
And speech.
All called to town square.
To share
To those despaired
A message
From above
Or somewhere else.

There isn't really much here. Even if "once upon a time" wasn't cliche, it sets a fairy tale tone that is never realized. "To share to those despaired" - the words are English but the sentence isn't.
A "message from above" is just another abstract cliche that never gets realized. The "doctors of literate thought and speech" is wordy, inefficient and anti-poetic.

Men still stand in streets, by the way, not just once upon a time.

milo

[elizabethvisser]

The poem flows well, but "Once upon a time" presents a much over-used cliche, and I don't feel that it adds any value to the piece. I would also think to replace "Men would stand in the streets" with "Man would stand in the streets".
E.

[Regn]

I read it like this:

Once upon a time men would stand in the streets
The poets and philosophers of thought and speech
Called to town square to share with those despaired
A message from beyond and elsewhere

or

Once upon a time men crowded the streets
To hear poets and philosophers speak
Of a hope from beyond and elsewhere
That would cure all their hearts of despair

Or something like that. The second one should be grammatically correct and all but makes the whole reading experience dull (The way I edited it is what made it dull is what I intend to say).

I'm not too comfortable handing out critique since I'm not confident in my own abilities, so I'll just leave with saying that I liked the way you made it sound. Too many line breaks made it difficult to see when it rhymed, though.