Echoes Pervade the Silence

[Soaring Eagle]

[Image: https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/image...zwOCDbSsGA]
Echoes
Rising above the silence,
Permeate my soul.
In the bleak midnight hours,
They whisper intimate thoughts to my heart.
I survey the remnants of the forgotten past,
Searching for a sliver of happiness to cling to
I discover it deep within,
The power to trudge onward in the face of adversity!
The echoes that pervade the silence,
Are the voices of angels speaking softly to my soul.
They sweetly whisper reassurances to my heart,
Reminders that God is always with me
The echoes are a part of me,
They are what guide me through the rough patches.
When they penetrate the soul,
It is like rock shattering in a million pieces.
The façade is lifted and I am free to be me.
The echoes are the voice of God speaking through angels.
As the saying goes, God works in mysterious ways.
The echoes have raptured my soul and unhinged my cage.
I am soaring free,
Trying to figure out who I am
I will listen in the silence for answers,
The echoes will prevail.

[UnicornRainbowCake]

Not that I can speak, I do it all the time, it'd be much more effective if you trimmed down some of it. Maybe the case of less is more - the less you say echo, the more effect it has when you do? For example:

They rise above the silence,
Permeate my soul.
In the bleak midnight hours,
They whisper intimate thoughts to my heart.
I survey the remnants of the forgotten past,
Searching for a sliver of happiness to cling to
I discover it deep within,
The power to trudge onward in the face of adversity!
They are the voices of angels speaking softly to my soul.
They sweetly whisper reassurances to my heart,
Reminders that God is always with me
They are a part of me,
They are what guide me through the rough patches.
When they penetrate the soul,
It is like rock shattering in a million pieces.
The façade is lifted and I am free to be me.
They are the voice of God speaking through angels.
As the saying goes, God works in mysterious ways.
They have raptured my soul and unhinged my cage.
I am soaring free,
Trying to figure out who I am
I will listen in the silence for answers,
The echoes will prevail.

In general, I think it's a nice poem with some good phases. Listen to the critique given here and it'd be really sound

[Soaring Eagle]

I will take into consideration any critique I get. What I use depends on what I get. The more feedback I receive the stronger it will be. I will consider what you said and give it a go. Thank for you for commenting.

[Snags]

I like the original and UnicornRainbowCake's suggested edit

My first thoughts on the original were similar to URC's (hope it's OK to turn you into a TLA?) - it felt a little bit bald and "out there", lacking some of the mystery or mysticism one might expect given both title and subject.

However, on re-reading repeatedly, and flicking between the two, the original has taken on the tone of definitive statement: this is what the echoes are to me, I claim it, I own it, you can't take it away. Whereas removing the explicit references as UCR has done imbues more of the contemplative mysticism I was subconsciously expecting. Delineated vs. gentle soft focus.

So I guess it depends on what you were seeking to convey. Either way I'd love to read a companion piece that came at the essence of an 'echo' in a more abstract way. For me this piece conveys strength and conviction despite, or even because of, the ephemeral; it would be interesting to try to capture the essence of the more amorphous numinous other that it hints at. A bit like book ends, or faces on a coin.

A nice poem to read before heading off to bed, too, by happy circumstance!

[UnicornRainbowCake]

Snags has put across what I failed to get into words myself. I went back and reread myself, and although I still prefer the mystical side of it without the echoes, I've seen in the right light now how including the echoes actually adds to it.

Like Snags said, there is so much potential for another side to it all - I've enjoyed it all the more now I've seen both sides to it.

[Soaring Eagle]

Everyone is being so kind and warms my heart. I will defintley attempt those suggestions with the next piece I write. I am glad you are enjoying it though. Thanks for the kind words and suggestions.