in a dark room

[Heartafire]

It was my eighth birthday.
She did not come to the table.
I carried cake to her room on a paper plate.
Her beloved tapestry hung heavy,
shutting out the light.
She was accustomed to the dark.

I didn’t sit with her those days,
her cries of pain frightened me.
My small shoulders needed her touch
but I could not endure her suffering.
My smile would lift the corners of her lips,
she would then drift away.

In the photograph I am wearing a new dress.
I adored its lacy bodice and satin sash.
Father picked it out himself.
Later, my grown up eyes dissolved
in the pain of his etched face,
our photo with an empty space,
dying in a darkened room.

[Smiffy]

It was my eighth birthday.
She did not come to the table.
I carried cake to her room on a paper plate.
Her beloved tapestry hung heavy,
shutting out the light.
She was accustomed to the dark.

I didn’t sit with her those days,
her cries of pain frightened me.
My small shoulders needed her touch
but I could not endure her suffering.
My smile would lift the corners of her lips,
she would then drift away.

In the photograph I am wearing a new dress.
I adored its lacy bodice and satin sash.
He picked it out himself.
Later, my grown up eyes dissolved
in the pain of his etched face,
our photo with an empty space,
dying in a darkened room.

Liked this, I don't think it would be right to offer suggestions on something so personal, loved the image of a photograph dying in a darkened room.

[billy]

hi heart, i think you need to anchor the poem by saying who one of the two people are, i'm sure it's mum and dad but at present it's a bit ambiguous. i'm presuming the missing person is the 1st person's mom. like the last stanza a lot.

[Heartafire]

Thanks so much Smiffy and Billy for reading and commenting. I appreciate your thoughts on this. Billy,
I have clarified the ambiguity in the final stanza, thank you for the suggestion.
My best!

[justcloudy]

beautiful. the images in my head while reading this seemed almost as real as a film. very well done, thanks for sharing.

[Heartafire]

beautiful. the images in my head while reading this seemed almost as real as a film. very well done, thanks for sharing.

Cloudy, thanks so much for reading and leaving your thoughts on this.
Heart