< after the war >

[rayheinrich]

< after the war >

when i mention you
the doctors
are kind at first
but then they tell me
that i've made you up
and they try and try
to do away with you

but i tell them that your hands
are as soft as new leaves
as real as new leaves
seen through new glasses
crisp
against a clear sky

that your face is a voice
reminding me of promises made long before the war
of letters written and words said
that refuse to be the past

there was a picture of us in the truck
coming over
the crest of that last hill before home
passing the few trees in north park colorado
us looking like the life we left
the barbed-wire fences and the grass we made into hay
to feed all those cows that your mom loved so much
and that i
never understood

suddenly the word iraq would appear
with the correct pronunciation of some river or hill
but i quickly changed it
to the barn
or the tractors
or the school board elections

a picture hangs in my head of you
the space grown larger than my east coast soul
and i am always waiting for the motion to return
needing only new batteries or gasoline or parts

it is the time of year
that the leaves
take on the color of your hands
and the trees are crisp in the clear sky
and every image and smell and the scent of your breath
cannot be told from the other

the doctors
are kind at first
but then they tell me
that i've made you up
and they try and try
to do away with you

but i always knew your name
and i always draw your face out of the leaves
crisp in the fall that no dream could match

their details thrown over you
have made a poor shroud full of holes
through which your sun
shines brilliant in the night

- - - -

[serge gurkski]

short note only:
Very much like:
"passing the few trees in northpark colorado"
though: I would have written: passing a few trees.
(But I am not native (english tongue-wise so I admit, I may be wrong here.)

cheers

me

[justcloudy]

wow. so beautifully depressing. lovely lovely.
the only thing I don't get is the hand-leaf image. but that's not a huge deal, didn't break the spell.
thanks for sharing.

[rayheinrich]

short note only:
Very much like:
"passing the few trees in northpark colorado"
though: I would have written: passing a few trees.
(But I am not native (english tongue-wise so I admit, I may be wrong here.)
cheers
me

There aren't many trees in North Park Colorado;
so "the few trees" is appropriate.
But thanks for calling attention to that because "Northpark" is
misspelled; it should have been (and now is): "North Park".

North Park Colorado:

[serge gurkski]

looks inviting. ;-)

seriously: a beautiful view!
I don't see any trees either (on an by now empirical basis)

[rayheinrich]

wow. so beautifully depressing. lovely lovely.
the only thing I don't get is the hand-leaf image. but that's not a huge deal, didn't break the spell.
thanks for sharing.

You're right. This verse:

"but i tell them
that your hands were new leaves
seen through new glasses
crisp against a clear sky"

is a bit perplexing so I changed the words to:

"but i tell them that your hands
are as soft as new leaves
as real as new leaves
seen through new glasses
crisp
against a clear sky"

(as well as the tense in the first verses)

Thanks.