LivingTheDream
Unregistered
Today I will not yell or get upset
If you do wrong I won't be sad
And not a word about it would be said
To ruin the night we both should get
I'll say ok if you are late
If you leave trash
Or break a plate
If you forget to say hello
Or if you pout when I say no
Today you do not need to be so strong
Just rest your head
There is nothing wrong
Today lets close our eyes and let us fly
Accept our love and let it lie
Lets not ask questions or inquire
Just let our warm embrace set us on fire
Posts: 280
Threads: 42
Joined: Mar 2013
Hi,
I think it's a very fitting title. And a beautiful poem. As I read it, a whole story formed in my head. I really enjoyed reading it
Posts: 62
Threads: 6
Joined: Mar 2013
(03-28-2013, 06:45 AM)LivingTheDream Wrote: Today I will not yell or get upset
If you do wrong I won't be sad
And not a word about it would be said
To ruin the night we both should get
I'll say ok if you are late
If you leave trash
Or break a plate
If you forget to say hello
Or if you pout when I say no
Today you do not need to be so strong
Just rest your head
There is nothing wrong
Today lets close our eyes and let us fly
Accept our love and let it lie
Lets not ask questions or inquire
Just let our warm embrace set us on fire
A good poem, I just feel you should do something with the 4th line 'To ruin the night we both should get' somehow for me this is marring the beauty of the first 3 lines. I know want you want to say, you could do it with a better choice of words.
The rest is simple and sweet, the sentiment is great.
~Neena
Posts: 497
Threads: 83
Joined: Dec 2012
(03-28-2013, 06:45 AM)LivingTheDream Wrote: Today I will not yell or get upset
If you do wrong I won't be sad
And not a word about it would be said
To ruin the night we both should get
I'll say ok if you are late
If you leave trash
Or break a plate
If you forget to say hello
Or if you pout when I say no
Today you do not need to be so strong
Just rest your head
There is nothing wrong
Today lets close our eyes and let us fly
Accept our love and let it lie
Lets not ask questions or inquire
Just let our warm embrace set us on fire
yeah. so familiar to me. ;-)
just a mini-nit:
I would not capitalize first line letters.
cheers
serge
