When I say I love you - first edit

[karinane]

First Edit:
When I say I Love you
“I love you”
Is not spoken with any expectation
There is no ulterior motive.
It is not to invoke guilt or create discomfort.

“I love you”
is said with the desire to share
Share the ardor that those words contain.
Share the happiness that you bring me each day.
Share the good fortune of having you in my life.
Share the pure and simple joy that is radiating from my heart.

“I love you”
are not words to be feared.
They contain no burden
They are not awkward or deceptive.
They are not said with the desire to hear them echoed back,
hollow and empty.

“I love you,”
in the beginning may have been spoken with trepidation;
Fear of your reaction,
And with doubt
Doubt of myself;
Doubt of you.
But these worries have evaporated.
I have let them go.

“I love you”
and so I recognize
that you are not one who is quick to love.
You take a slow path,
One of logic and thought.
Testing your emotions,
Questioning them.
And when you come to love
it is a love that is well-earned,
it is a love that is not easily lost.
I believe that is a love that is well worth the wait,
and well worth the gamble.

“I love you.”
So do not worry or fret at these words
Instead smile back at me.
Know that it is the greatest compliment;
the greatest thanks that I can give you.
Know that at that moment I am so full of joy
That it is bursting to be released.
Know that it is just me
bringing this joy to you -
the reason for my happiness -
and I ask nothing in return.
It is not something to doubt or fear.
It is simple.
I love you.


Original post:
When I say “I love you,”
It is not spoken with any expectation or ulterior motive.
It is not with the intention to invoke guilt or create discomfort.
Instead it is to share the love that is contained in those words.
Share the happiness that you bring me each day.
Share my gratitude and good fortune for having you in my life.
Share the pure and simple joy that is radiating from my heart.
Do not fear these words.
There is nothing in them that is burdensome
or that is awkward or deceptive.
I do not say them with the desire that you should echo them back to me,
hollow and empty.
I say them because I can not hold them inside myself.

It is true that in the beginning
I may have spoken these words with fear;
Fear of your reaction,
And doubt of myself;
So full of the desire to not be alone in feeling this way.
But I no longer have these worries.
I have let them go.
I recognize that you are not one who is quick to love.
You take a slow path,
One of logic and thought.
Testing your emotions,
Questioning them.
And when you come to love it is a love that is well-earned,
and not easily lost.
I know that I may not earn this love,
but I am full of hope that one day I will.
I believe that is a love that is well worth the wait,
and well worth the gamble.

So do not worry or fret next time I say “I love you.”
Instead smile back at me.
Know that it is the greatest compliment;
the greatest thanks that I can give you.
Know that at that moment I am so full of joy
That it is bursting to be released.
Know that it is just me bringing this joy to you,
the reason for my happiness,
and I ask nothing in return.
It is not something to doubt or fear.
It is simple.
I love you.

[Todd]

Hi Karinane,

Speaking of the edit: this strikes me as a good spoken word piece. If it is meant to be a written stand alone. You will want to pare down the repetition when at all possible. Within the rhythm of speaking, you can get away with these building statements. They help to sell the delivery. As a written piece what works in speaking is less memorable. You Ned more imagery and evocative phrasing.

So, it really depends what you envision for this piece.

Just thoughts,

Todd